NEWS IN BRIEF.

Woodville Examiner, Volume 1, Issue 10, 3 November 1883, Page 4

NEWS IN BRIEF.

‘ Public’ Spirit.—Whiskey. Clerical Errors.—Long sermons. The higher education of women. Hai dressing. What the cabbage said to the cook.— ‘ My heart is thine.' Why should sailors make irresisiblo loves? Because they know how to press a suit. Woman who had just been looking over blankets in a Main-street store —‘ Well, I didn’t mean to buy. Am just looking for a friend.’ Clerk, politely —‘Don't think you’ll hud your friend Mining the blankets. We’ve looked ’em all through. ‘ May I have the honor to conduct your daughter to the supper table V asked a society gentleman of a lady from the country. ‘ May you take her to supper ?’ was the response ; ‘ why, of course, and you can take me too. That’s what we came hero for.’ Th* Indian Government intend to ereca large temporary hotel for visitors tu the Calcutta Exhibition. Bulgaria is increasing her army from 12,500 to 23,003 men, and expending twothirds of the budget for military purposes. The las'- of the 100-ton guns ordered to be mounted for the defence of the Mediterranean fortresses has been embarked. The garrisons of Metz and Dantzig have recently been considerably strengthened by order of the Emperor William. The American Bell Telephone Company has, it is said, erected 2,0 'O,OOO miles of overhead wire during the past year. Is is estimated that the Puget Sound district in the United States will yield 100,000,000,000 ft. of valuable timber. General Booth, addressing a meeting at Henley, said he had acted honestly, under legal advice, regarding the Eagle Tavern. The number of suicides in Berlin has reached the abnormal average of nearly fifty-three per month, or well on to two per day. A number of trained carrier pigeons, which are kept in a state of efficiency by continual exercise, are maintained by the German War office. Waiter, to cook —‘ George, gent in number three says as his potatoes ain’t good—says as they’ve all got black eyes in ’em,’ George (real name Patrick)— 1 Ee» dad, thin, it’s no faultjof mine; the spalpeens must have been fightin’ after I put ’em in the pot !’ A Queensland aboriginal has effected two insurances on his life in Adelaide. In ton years New Zealand has spent on its liquor bils twenty-four millions and a« half, A telegram from Rockhampton says an alligator over 19 feet long has been shot at Raglan Creek.

A Recreation ground for Woodville has been gazetted. The following particulars relative to the same, taken from the Gazette of the 19:h, may be found interesting : “ All that piece or parcel of land in th-a Provincial District of Hawke’s Bay, containing by admeasurement 30 acres 3 roods 19 perches, more or less, being the rural section numbered 73 on the plan block YIII, Woodville .Survey District. Bounded on the northwest by a public road, 3983 links ; toward^ the north-east by a Native reserve No--200, 1090 links ; towards the south-east by rural section Mo. towards the south-west by a public road, 1000 links.”

A patient in the Mount View Asylum named HenryfSchilizo elfected his eseape from that institution the other day. He was recognised yesterday evening in Palmerston by Constable Gillespie, who took him into custody. Out of twelve candidates the following gentleman have passed at the April ex* animation of the IS. Z. Pharmacy Board hehl at the four centres. Messrs Wilton, Manton, Hobben, Christchurch : Macal. jster, Invercargill : Kinderdine, Dunedin : Clarke, Auckland, and Warburton Auckland. Ten million dollars are invested in the dairy interests of the United States, The products from this capital reach the magi nxficent sum of 20,000,000d015. A young man named Sinclair was arrested in Wellington for taking some jewellery from a barmaid. He returned it just prior to his arrest, saying he had been merely playing a j ke on her. These kind of jokes are rather dangerous. The Wanganui blockhouse is being dismantled, and will soon be reduced to stacks cf timber and heaps of bricks. The only mementos yet discovered have been two eixpenses of 1817 and 1835,a “{Brown Bess ” bullet, and a packet of visiting cards.

The Chronicle understands that since his sentence for arson at W averley, the prisoner Joseph GihJon has confessed to having fired several stacks, not only in that part of the coast, but also in the immediate neighbourhood of Wanganui. The cod export at Greymouth, last wedr was heavier than has been known before.

On a recent calm summer day, a party of Cockney yaehtmen landed at low tide on Goodwin Sands, the most dangerous shoal in the British Channel, and played , a game of cricket on the very spot where a great ship, with 400 souls on board, was totally wrecked, and all on board lost.

If this is not offering to compound a felony we do not know what is: “ Stolen.—Twelve £1 notes from the Kmpiro Hotel Stables on Thursday, 25th inst. As the numbers and name of the person who took the notes are known, they had better bo returned to a place where the owner will find them,oc criminal proceedings will be taken immediately. Edward McElwain.” The advertisement is appearing in the Wanganui papers. In a case at Wooloomooloo, in which a woman died after being outraged by a. gang of larrikins, the’ coroner’s jury r 4 turned a verdict of Wilful Murder against James Edward Williams, and George Kimberley, adding that the evidence was not sufficient to include Alfred and Joseph Williams on the finding, but the circumstances pointed to grave suspicion against them. The three men were then committed for trial at the next criminal sittings of the Supreme Court. Alfred and Jo'seph Williams wore set at liberty. It is calculated that the use of tobacco in America is about ten times what it is in Groat Britain.

In Sydney the Australian Blondin, while performing, fell from a height of 38 feet and broke his thigh. A team of horses in Victoria swam 300 yards across a river, dragging a loaded waggon along the bottom.

‘ 1 would I were a missionary On the plains of Tarnatavc, To be seized by wicked Frenchmen And treated like a slave ; And when I was released s&ain, I’d ask for compensation 'And receive a cool sir thousand pounds, And apologies from the nation.’

The following description of a bicycle is rather rough on.the wheel-man : —‘ The bicycle is a slender, graceful, and altogether harmless arrangement, chiefly composed of two wheels, tdrned by two cranks, one of which is seated on a little saddle, and operates the machine with his feet.’ Scotland, out of a population of 4,000/100, sends G 43 students to her universities, while the two great English universities have but GOO students. Ger* many, out, of a population of 43,000,000, has 22,000 university students. The Wanganui Gas Company has declared a halt-yearly dividend at the rate of 10 per cent, per annum.

‘Do you believe that a woman nowadays would die for the object of her love ?’ asked her bachelor friend. 1 I don’t know whether she'd die or not,’ answered the benedict, ‘ but I’ve known her to go wild when (he trimming didn’t suit her.’ A railway gatekeeper wft j killed recently in Victoria. He was deaf and unable to hear the train. His name was Benjamin Register and was at one tim? in affluent circumstances as a merchant in London. ‘Talk about the jaws of death !’ exclaimed a man who had a termagant wife, ‘ I tcdl you tho’re nothing to the jaws of life.’

A gentleman the other evening conversing wiah some ladies was boasting of his general good health. ‘Ah !’ replied a pert maiden, ‘ we are told Satan takes care of his own.’ Ho passed. In military circl-s it is understood that the m w Field Marshalship about to be created will be conferred upon Lord Wolsely. Unconscious Wail—An editor recently married, writes editorially, ‘ We are writing this moment under absolute despotism.’

‘ What in a name ?’ Put it on a back of a bill, says one, who has had experience, and you’ll soon find out. Much suprise is excited in London by the announcement that the Duke of Norfolk, following the examples of Marlborough and Hamilton, is about to dispose of the deeorative contents of Arundel , Castle and Norfolk house. Miss Stone, the daughter of Stone Pasha, who was formerly an American General, and recently in the service of the Khedive, is said to bo the beet Arabic scholar of her sex, and one of the moat accomplished linguists in the world.

Short Editorial.—A fellow country editor lately returned a tailor’s bill en* dorsed, * Declined—handwriting illegible. A little girl of four years, on hearing a lady conclude a song with an indifferent excuted shake, whispered to her mother, ‘ Oh, mamma, listen to Mrs Smythe gargi ling,