PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES.

Wellington Independent, Volume XXVI, Issue 3327, 24 October 1871, Page 3

PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES.

(By Silyeb Pen) THE PERMISSIVE BILL. "'Tia very hard, and so it is j" 'Tis also somewhat slow, That man should bo deprived of beer, Whether he will or no. What does it boot, that BOine dry folks Are sick of the " vile stuff?" There dwell long thousands on the earth "Who have not had enough : And where's the harm, I'd like to know ; A pipe and glass of beer Smooth well the ruffled temper When feeling somewhat queer. While sitting in the gallery, Where oft I sit of late, I chanced between my nods of sleep To hear a grand debate ; A member rose ; we'll not him name, It would bf fit us ill; But this the burthen of his song — " Pass my Permissive Bill." He said (at least he so implied), II Look, gentlemen, at me, My health is good, my body stout, My eye gleams bright and free. I never falter in my speech Which flows both sharp and clear ; And why ? Because I water drink; And hold in horror beer! I come to ask my brothers' help, To check with me this evil, Which will the colony engulph, And send us to the devil ! That gr ome, who, with his cloven foot, His black and curly tail Stands at the door of " Osgood's" bouse And pledges you in ale. What does it boot tbafc men who drink Do wearj&ttire quite Hew; They do more evil in their way Than England's drunkards do. For in tbat country, at the rate Of £3 3g per head, They drink, but here what adults leave Babieß imbibe instead." Now I from out the gallery Endorse this in a fashion, For my email boy just rising three Will break on ale his passion. If beer is on the table placed, And he no share has in it, He'll fling his cup right in your face, And hurt you in a minute. The member grew quite eloquent, Soft hie words were like " Bawder," When on his feet a rabbit got, And called out, " order, order." Think you, said ho, tbat shouldJl seni For wine, or beer, or brandy, To any of the publicans That might be living handy, Think you that wife of mine would dare In accents far from funny, To put her veto, or her vote, Against the will of bunny. No, no, I thank my lucky Btare, I am not yet a Mormon, Bufc one who dearly loves good cheer, A Briton, not a Norman. Now, sitting in the gallery, I laughed in my bell sleeve, Because, between us, reader, They aaid I don't believe. Water may suit that gentleman, He having weak digestion ; But that it equally suits all, Is quite another question ; And if they stop the public beer, The private people will Sell for a Bilver coin a cako, And also your glass fill. If men determined are to take What brings them to perdition, The bill will only rile them more Because of opposition. For first as Eve the apple tooi, Because it was forbidden, To endless time so men will drink Sooner than be " bill" ridden. But if the Bouse and Ministry Would build some pleasant places, Fitting them up with tea and books And girls with pretty faces, To wait upon the ennuied youths "Who idly walk the street. I do not doubt these efforts would A good return soon meet, And ac you cannot force a dog To eat, when ho don't ohoose ifc, The more you take from man his beer, The more you'll find he'll use it.