'I say capt'n,' said a little eyed man, as he landed from the steamboat Petona at Natchez. ' I say capt'n, this 'ere ain't all.' 'That's all the luggage you brought on board sir,' replied the captain. ' Well, see now, it's all according to list — four boxes, three chests, two ban boxes, a portmanty, io hams, one part cvt — three ropes inyons, a fry pan, and a tea kettle, but I'm dubersom, I feel there's somat short, though I've counted 'ein nine times and never took my eves ov'eui while on board ; there's something not right, somehow. ' Well, stranger, limes up ; there's all I know of; bring up your wife and nine children out of the cabin and we're off.' Them's-um, darn it, them's- um! I knowed I'd forgot something. One dark night a burglar entered a house. On ascending one flight of stairs he observed a light in a chamber, and while deliberating what to do, a large woman suddenly seized him by the throat, pushed him down through the hall, and forced him into the street before he had time to think. ' Heroic repulse of a Burglar by a Woman,' was the way in which the story appeared in the newspapers next day, But when friends called and congratulated her upon her courage, she exclaimed—' Good gracious ! I didn't know it was a burglar. If I had, I should have been frightened to death. I thought it was my husband come home inebriated again, and I was determined ho shouldn't j come into my room in that condition,' That was a convenient loss of memory which Ccesar, the sable coachman, possessed. His employer, who was very ! zealous on the subject of horses, but not ! according to knowledge bought a mare at '■ auction and rode her home. ' Well, j Caesar,' said be, 'what do you think of her?' 'Well, massa, it makes me tink of what tho preacher said yesterday — something about his money is soon parted. I disremember the fust part !' An old sailor going to have a tooth ouf, told the dentist that it was — the aftermost grinder aloft on the starboard quarter.
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Wellington Independent, Volume XXVI, Issue 3271, 7 August 1871, Page 3
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