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Wellington Independent, Volume XXVI, Issue 3228, 17 June 1871, Page 3

A man with a scolding wife says he has less fear of the jaws of death than of the jaws of life. Whatever else you borrow never borrow trouble. Ifc never does any good, and when you it return you get no thanks. A colored lady, boasting the other day of the progress made by her son in arithmetic, exultingly said, ' He 13 in the mortification table.' The reason there are so many sheep's heads in existence is because such a number of children are ' perfect little lambs.' A Capital Answer. — Self-made man, examining a school, of which he is manager : ' Now what's the capital of 'Olland ?'— Boy : 'An H, sir.' A. revenue assesor in Ohio, asking the uaual questions inquired, ' Did your wife have any income last year?' 'Yes' replied the assessed, ' Bhe had twins— both girls.' The Montreal Herald of 25th January says :— The Wyoming National Bank, of Wilkesbarre, last week elected a lady to succeed Judge Woodward in the board of directors.