THE CRYSTAL CAGE.

Wellington Independent, Volume VII, Issue 628, 18 October 1851, Page 4

THE CRYSTAL CAGE.

"The Troubles of the Crystal Palace. —The course of this marvellous building for the celebration of the world's festival of labour, doesn't appear—any more than true love—to run smooth. The exhibitors of polished : steel articles say that owing to the admission of wet, they cannot trust their precious wares to the palace, and that the glass must be caulked to exclude rain. The sun came down so hotly on the heads of the workmen last week, that they were compelled -to desist ■ for nearly a day. For both these evils, however, there is said to be a remedy. The roof will be covered with linen, that will exclude the rain, if it Tains; and if it is sunshine, will abate its fervour as a shade, and keep it cool by means of water which will be kept constantly playing on the canvas. There is, however, another evil, for which no remedy has yet been devised, and which is of much greater importance than one might, at the first mention of it, fancy—namely-, the intrusion into the building of a number of sparrows, which are building nests, flying about, chirping so as to deafen you, and befouling every thing to a most mischevious extent; they can't net them, the place is so large ; they can't shoot them without breaking the glass ; and the sparrows, as if aware of the advantages they possess over the owners of the premises, won't go out. In fact, the Commissioners are posed and puzzled by the sparrows, and they feel, unless they can get rid of these clouds of mischievous intruders, the exhibitors will have their fine fabrics spoiled, and will perhaps themselves realise the fact that awoke Tobit from his slumbers. A Bristol exhibiter, a few days since, overheard one of the Commissioners exclaim, with as much bitterness as if it was the Pope he was speaking of, "Those infernal things —what will we do with them ?" 'Tis hard to say, for they pay no respect to Persian silks or Genoa velvets, and serve all alike."

Prince Albert pushed his cutlet and l tomato sauce-from before him, and up from the breakfast table, apparently too troubled in spirit to cat.

Majesty noticed the act, and enquired the cause.

"Those confounded sparrows!" cried the Prince, with great distress—" can't get them out."

" Oli, sit down aud eat your breakfast," interposed her Majesty, soothingly, "and I'll write an order to the Horse Guards, to send up a whole regiment of the Hue to shoot them."

The Prince groaned out, "Oh, no; the cmc would be worse than the disease —they'd break all the glass."

The Queen saw and felt for his distress. " I never liked the Exhibition." she thought; " but it is his hobby, and I must not let these stupid little sparrows innke him unhappy." So she sat down at the escrutoire, and taking up a gold pen, wrote n note at once to the Premier requiring his attendance at Buckingham Palace. As the Royal Messenger was seen dashiug at top speed into Chesham Place, people said 'twas another crisis but 'twasn't.

" What's the matter, your Majesty,": cried the Premier, making his appearance pale and out of breath.

"The sparrows," said her Majesty, "in the Crystal Palace;" and as«he spoko she nodded her head to Prince Albert, who was walking about at the upper part of the room, and striking lua forehead, and

minding no one, his mind being occupied with the one sad thought. " You know we can't shoot them, Lord John," observed her Majesty, "or I'd soon silence them with a park of artillery."

" No, your Majesty," mused the First Lord of the Treasury, biting his nails ; and after a pause, he added, " we might net them."

The Queen clapped her hands in glee. " Albert, Albert," she exclaimed, " don't fret, Lord John has found a remedy— we'll net them." " Nonsense," retorted the Prince Consort, rather gruffly and ungratefully, " you caii't—the place is too large." Her Majesty's face fell at once, as she mournfully repeated her Consort's words, " 'Tis too large, Lord John—think again." Lord John bit bis nails and thought again, '• I have it," said he after a longer meditation than before. The Queen's eyes sparkled. " Have you?" cried she, in ecstacy. "What, Lord John—do please say what at once."

" Fumigate the place—smother them with sulphur."

" Capital!" cried the Queen. " Albert, Albert," she shouted out at once, " We have it this time—we'll smother them."

" Can't," sulkily retorted Saxe Gotha and Coburg, " I thought of that myself— but 'twont do. Stink all the goods, and spoil them."

The Queen looked miserable once more, and begged of her Prime Minister to think again, but he couldn't and left the Palace.

The Bishop of London now called by chance, and her Majesty at once consulted him. liloomfidld was always a courtier, he looked wise, vowed his service over and over, and said " he'd go home and look at the onions of the church."

" Don't mind it," interposed her Majesty. " Your canons always make a dreadful noise, but take no effect."

Still Prince Albert kept pacing up and down, and groaning out ejaculations from time to time about those confounded sparrows; and every groan sent a pang to her Majesty's heart. "I have determined," she exclaimed, " I'll send for the Duke."

Another letter, and another courier to bear it to Apsley House. The royal missive ran thus :—

"My dear Duke,—Do come at once; my kind and true friend in emergency. Albert is in sad taking about these horrid sparrows that have got into the Exhibition building. You can do everything; you can help us to yet them out." Ever yours, V. li."

The Duke was standing at the window wheu the royal messenger alighted at the door. He knew the man by his livery. " Humph," cried he, " I hope Russell is not again in o»e of his resignation fits." He took the letter off the silver dish, and opened it. He seemed annoyed, and immediately sat down in a pot to write. "F. i>l. th' 3 Duke of Wellington presents his loyal duty to his Sovereign. F. M. the Duke of Wellington is Com-mander-in-chief of her Majesty's land forces, and as such, thinks the service upon which he is summoned out of his province. F. M. the Duke of Wellington is not a bird-catcher. F. M the Duke of Wellington understands there are several following this line of life in the neighbourhood of Seven Dials, to whom, if it be her Majesty's pleasure, he will make known the royal request. F. M. *the Duke of Wellington has had considerable experience in capturing French eagles, but none in taking English sparrows.

His Grace read the note, gave a grim smile, then repented, tore it up, and, ordering his horse, said he would be at Buckingham Palace in twenty minutes. The Prince was still walking about restless when the Duke arrived.

The Queen and the Prince all but jumped into his arms, and reminded him of Qualre Bras.

" Oh, last and best resort of difficulty and danger! what do you suggest?" ejaculated the Sovereign.

" A Sparrow-Hawk," said the Duke, bowing.

" Oh, ever fertile in resources," exclaimed the Prince: "to place a difficulty before you is to have a remedy. We'll have the sparrow-hawks," he added.

'" We will," said the Queen; and an extensive order for sparrow-hawks was immediately issued.

In the meantime, the twittering colony in the Crystal Palace were not unconscious of what was taking place at its Buckingham neighbour, and had a couple of messengers of their own flying between the " two houses," bearing hourly intelligence of the consultations held for turning them out of office. Thus, when Lord John Russell was with her Majesty, a clever, sharp-eared young sparrow alighted on the sill of the window outside, and overheard the whole of the conversation. As soon as the Premier departed, Master Sparrow was back again, and gliding through one of the ventilators, was soon telling the whole story to a council of veteran twitters assembled on one of the highest branches. This council was presided over by a grey-headed old sparrow, the Nester of'the many flocks that flitted about -the Crystal Palace.

When the young sparrow had told all that Lord John bad said, "Pshaw!" cried the President of the Council. "Not us; and we forsooth are fools enough to go into the nets, while we have plenty of room to avoid them—Lord John has seen his best days. Unless , he can get a wiser counsellor than that, we'll bother Prinio Albert and his . brother Commissioners, and break up their Exhibition,"

and all the sparrows laughed and twittered, and provoked the Commissioners, who happenod to bo underneath, and cried out with more vehemenco than ever. " Hang these sparrows !" Anothe messenger sparrow flaw in amongst the feathered council—-'The Bishop of London has just left her Majesty, and is going to eject us by Canon Law." A provokingly mirthful outburst of twitterings followed the announcement.

" The Bishop of London has enough to do to mind his own business," said the veteran sparrow; " let him first get some strange birds out of his own diocese, and then come to disturb us. But he had better not throw stones at us, ours is not the only Palace made of glass. I think we need not make ourselves uneasy, but go on building our nests." "We needn't," cried all the sparrows from all the brunches, we'll stay where we are."

" The Duke is sent for," exclaimed another messenger sparrow, making hie appearance, and with some sign of trepidation.

"Tho Duke!" repeated they—but there was no banter in their twitter now.

But tho President of the Sparrows' Council still put a bold face on the matter, and said in boastful tone. "The Duke would find he had not a Napoleon to deal with this time:" nevertheless the sparrows were noticed not to go on as busily with their nest-building as before, when a fourth messenger flew in and said he had just overheard the Duke suggest "a sparrow-hawk." "Then, I'm off,"exclaimed the the veteran President of the Council, popping out through a ventilator. "That horrid old Duke, I was afraid he would hit upon an expedient."