OVER THE TEA-CUPS

Wanganui Herald, Volume LIII, Issue 15955, 25 October 1919, Page 8

OVER THE TEA-CUPS

THE EMPEROR’S PHOTOGRAPH. Because ho took a picture of the Japanese Emperor and Empress in toe course of a passing parade, a Press photographer was recently thrown into gaol, while toe society editor of Jiji, who printed a picture of the Emperor, was grilled by too police. The Tokio newspapers are highly critical of the action of the police. WHEN THE ESKIMOS HEARD. News of the Armistice (November 11) reached one part of Labrador on February 27, when three dog sleighs with flags flying arrived at the mission station. A message from a member of the Overseas Club says toe Eskimos had a bonfire on toe ice, and brought out all the bunting they could find; toe National Anthem was sung. DEAD MAN’S HUMOUR. A Parisian, with a sense of humour, recently bequeathed 200 franca to each relative who abstained from attending Ms funeral. Only one poor relative insisted on following the deceased to the grave, and her loyalty was richly rewarded, for by a codicil to his will the deceased left too residue of his large fortune to those relatives who were prepared to sacrifice the 300 francs. WILLIE WAS ASTOUNDED. Little Willie was on his first visit to toe farm. He was being shown about the place whei he saw a cow grazing in the pasture. He was greatly excited and asked; “Oh, uncle, what is that?” “That is only a cow,” replied his unde. “And what are those things on her head?” “Horns,” he answered. They turned to go back when the cow bellowed long and loud. Willie was astounded Looking back, he demanded, “Which hom did she blow?” STRANGE CHURCH INCIDENT. A motor-car drove up in the morning to the Roman Catholic church in Dorchester Road, 'Weymouth, and there alighted a fashionably-attired woman and little hoy. Just as they were entering the church two men apjjearcd, and without any ceremony bundled the two back into the motor-car. The woman mad© some resistance, and her cries and the screams of the boy, who clung to her, attracted the attention of passersby. They were driven rapidly away from the church, and nothing more has been seen or heard of them. A MEDICAL MARVEL. The medical marvel of the war, in England, is Incut. W. Mallandain, of the Fusiliers. None of the doctors can understand why lie is* alive, and you may share their amazement when you learn that not only was he shot through the head, but through both lungs and through the heart as well. And with that series of disasters behind him ho bolds himself as erect and moves as smartly as the keenest Guardsman.

A STOKER MILLIONAIRE. Though still a stoker in the United States Navy, B. L. Perkins is the possessor of an annual income reaching- the half-million dollar mark. A few weeks ago oil was discovered on his parents’ little farm down in Texas, and now Perkins is the recipient of the sum, of .£BOO i) a month. Perkins received word of his great good fortune just before the Imperator left Brest for New York. The stoker millionaire said lie hoped to use the money “for the benelit of the world and Christianity.” NOT HER COFFIN. One morning an old man was busy in the backyard with a saw and hatchet, when the next-door neighbour came to inquire after the health of his wife. This wife, it seems, had taken a severe cold. “Good morning, Mr Smith,” said the neighbour, “how is Mrs Smith this morning?” “Just about the same,” answered old Mr Smith. “She didn’t sleep very well last night.” “Poor dear,” said tlie neighbour sympathetically. “1 suppose that's her coughing, ain’t it?” “No, it ain’t her coffin,” said Mr Smith, keeping his eyes on his work; “its a new hen-house.” SMART RUSE BY DETECTIVE. Serge Henri de Lon4, alleged to he a Raffles in real ifo, using a limousine to commit thefts in hotels, shops, and at the houses of his acquaintances, has been arrested in the Rue Berlioz, Paris. A detective, pretending to Ik- intoxicated, stumbled in front of the vehicle, says the Paris Daily Mail, and as it swerved toward the pavement, another detective jumped in and seized dc Lenz. Boxes filled with goods worth T.iJbO were found in his lodgings. “BACTIETjOR” GIRDS' HOME. Six bachelor girls of London, On tario, have placed instructions with a local architect and builder to build cottages for them on a plot of ground secured in the south-eastern section of the city. The girls stipulate that the houses shall face each other, circling a small park plot, which will be common property. Each house wi 11 have a living room, dining-room, kitchen, bath, and two bedrooms, and will be cquip|xd with a separate furnace. They at lir.st called for a central heating system, but this was found too expensive. The girls, who have disclosed their identity only to tiie architect and builder, announce that they all intend to go through the world without the aid, or hindrance, of husbands. If they find other like-minded they are ready to admit them to the charmed community, but it is probable that any change of views on matrimony will bring expulsion to the wavercr. A DAREDEVIL DEMOBBED. A demobilised officer, who is prepared to go north, south, east, or west, offers his services, in an advertisement in the Times, “to any private individual, firm, or company wishing any really dangerous, difficult, or unpleasant task performed in any known or unknown part of the world..” He has no family ties.

WANTED-SATAN! A clergyman was a geologist and always carried his specimens about in a red handkerchief such as navvies use to eairy their dinners in. One day, as he was going homo with it full of specimens, ho saw a navvy at (lie top of a well, using violent language because the windlass refused to work. “My friend,” said the parsim, “do you know Satan?” “No,” replied the man, “but I’ll ask my male. Bill,” he cried, “do you know Satan?” “No!” came Gie answer from the bottom of the well. “Why?” “Well,” said the man on top, “there’* a bioko np hero wot’s got ’is dinner.” MISPLACED SYMPATHY. There were two Browns in the village, both fishermen. One lost his wife and the other his boat at about the same time. The vicar’s wife called, as she supposed, on the widower, but really upon the Brown whose boat had gone down, “1 am sorry to hear of your great loss,” she said. “Oh, it ain't much matter,” yas the philosophical reply; “she wasn’t up to much.’ ’ “Indeed,” said the surprised lady. “Yes,” continued Brown, “.she was a rickety old thing. 1 offered her to my mate, hut he wouldn’t have her. I've had my eye on another for some time.” And then the outraged lady fir'd, THRILLING RESCI E. A thrilling rescue look place at a fire at, the Royal Hotel, Cardiff (Wales). The hotel is seven stories high, and the tire started near the top of the building. Winnie. Jones, a chambermaid, was cut off by flames. Walter Cleall, 'Si, a builder’s labourer, of Grangetown, was standing in the crowd outside the burning hotel when the lire escape was brought up and would lie hopelessly short of the parapet on which the girl was standing. lie ran into the hotel and up the stairs to the top story. He broke a window in the attack and got to the roof of the building, portions of which wore in flames. Working his way along the parafiet to the place whore the girl was standing, lie seized her as she was about to leap for safety and carried her back along the narrow and exposed parapet into the hotel, where both b© and the girl collapsed. IT MUST BE AWFUL. Mistress: 1 must really speak to you, cook. Your master is always grumbling. Oik* day it is the soup, the next it is the fish, the third day it is about the joint,—in fact, every day he complains about something. Cook : Well, I’m sorry for you, ma’am. It must bo just awful to have to Live along of a man of that sort.