CASUAL RAMBLINGS.

Wanganui Herald, Volume LIII, Issue 15862, 5 July 1919, Page 11

CASUAL RAMBLINGS.

B 7 “PINCHER.”

This week has been full of It had a good kick-off by the announcement that the world’s peace had been established. Then followed some interesting divorce cases, assault cases, a most deliberate assault by the sea upon our harbour works, and last, but not least, the announcement by Lloyd George that the Kaiser is to be tried in London. I wonder I Guess the Suicide Club will get him before that can take place. Other generals and commanders of the bloodthirsty type will, I opine, increase the sorrows and the worries of Satan. Mephistopheles will surely be at a loss to know what to do with such men so proficient in the art of hellishness, and he will be afraid all the time that they will want to conquer his world and run the show the same as they tried to do when on earth. It is hoped that if they ever do get Kaiser “the bloodthirsty” to England, he will have Willie handcuffed to him. Another sensation of the week is the alleged coal shortage and the reduction of train services. There is more in this business than that which meets the eye. We have been told that the been coming since 1913. Why? Mr Berries has been Minister for Railways all the time, and the disastrous failure of the railway business seriously reflects upon him as the head of the concern. Mr Hernes is unquestionably a back member, and he will probably be an “also starter” at the next election. He is going to have opposition, but it is doubtful if he will have sufficient energy left to make a fight of it. Itis a certainty that he has'f ailed miserably in handling his Department. There has been shockingly bad management, otherwise there would not be 'the “wash-out” that there is. It is no use trying to place the blame upon the coal miner. The Coal Commission’s report substantiates that fact. Sterilisation is being forced more than aver these days, and according to the science column of an. Australian paper recently to hand, “a direct current is to be applied to ripened cream, and milk is to be sterilised in thin .-beets by actinic rays.” The work, it was alleged, was “being done at the ilarrdvnck tramway workshops.” The matter was discussed by “Pa” and his son Willie a day or two ago in the Ridgway barber shop.

This passion for sterilisation is quite a new thing, Willie,” he said. “In Hie words of the song, ’Everybody’s doing it.’ ” "I ain’t.” said Weary Willie. No. ’ said Pa; “it would take more than a direct current or actinic rays to sterilise yon. Boiling for twenty minutes might do it.” ■Anyway,” said Willie, “why do they wan ter sterilise the milk at the trainway workshops.- B’imey ’ thev might a( wei! 'amir.or them thin sheets °of nr Ik with sledge-hammers in a foundry. I a 'ways thought milk was handled in a dairy.”

•'N-ience, ' «a:d _ Pa. "is a wonderful thing. If it sterilises milk in an engineering workshop, is? sure it has some gcod reason. Just get this at the back of your head, tie .-t-:ri!isat : on of Germane was encctod at Versailles with a fern Hin-rx-n. ■t i;ere :s no douaf. V. liihm. that {.he dio-.’.--- g.-nn ;= a fit nte<J thing nowaoay.- irec, the hunting doesn't .seem !■* make very inm-h difi'.-rence to it. hut It is a hunted tiling. ,= i; the same. O.ur gr.inafathers '-vrie- killed ov tbe-rii without knowing what ha.i killed them. We, at ail events. gi v e tne n iorcix?s. a ran for their mocev."

M hen Willie had been squashed bv Pa he referred to another item in ihe same - ing fish was nought the other day in Biishane Mater. '\\'ot do thev suck Pa-"

They suck the heels of boats. Wil;i..rn. It is recorded that Anthony’s galley, at ‘he battle of Actiinn. was held i.v a number of these suck-, iug fi-h, " i;;■ hj attached themselves to the keel."

It can’t be alf as much fun suckin’ the keel of a Ixiat as the end of a bottle. ’ said Millie. “I shouldn’t think there’d he much nourishment in the keel of a boat.’’

“Ah. William, those fish," said Pa, "do not suck in the same way you do—they use their heads.”

“Blimey!” said Willie. “I use me face, and a face is part of a ’ead, ain’t it-’’

Yes, said Pa; “opt the fish uses the top of his head. It is perfectly true that some men use alcohol on their heads to mate their hair grow. But the suction of alcohol in this manner is not recommended by the best authorises. These unhappy‘fish. William, have a dicker which, ‘Wohbegoug’ savs. resembles a rubber boot-heel. I can foresee the end of them; they will V hunted by the bootmakers for’the sake of return I rubber heels. Be thankful, 'William, that your sucking apparatus does not resemble a rubber boot-heel on the top of your head.”