Smile at the End of the Day.

Wanganui Herald, Volume LIII, Issue 15835, 4 June 1919, Page 7

Smile at the End of the Day.

PLACED. The loud-voiced lady was holding forth in the crowded Tube train. “Yes. I maintain that a woman can take a man’s place in almost any walk of life!” She looked defiantly round the carriage, as if expecting some opposition to her statement. A weary Tommy, who was standing, tapped her on the shoulder. “Excuse me, mum, would you take a man’s place?” “Certainly!” she answered. “Well,” continued the weary one, “take mine, and let me sit down!” WHAT HE LEFT. •' A sad and seedy individual gained admission to the offices of one of .the city’s best-known legal firms, and at last somehow penetrated to the sanctum of the senior partner. “Well,” asked the lawyer, “what do you want ” “Half-a-orown he said boldly. The man’s unusual manner aroused the lawyer’s curiosity. “There you are!” he said, handing out the money. “And I should like you to inform me how you came to fall ao low in the world.” The visitor sighed. “All my youth,” he explained, ‘T had' counted on inheriting something from my uncle, but when he died he left all he had to an orphan asylum.” “A philanthropist,” ; commented the lawyer. “What did his estate consist of?” _ '' > > “Ten children.!” said the visitor—and vanished. SOMETHING UNUSUAL. An officer inspecting sentries guarding the line in Flanders came across a rawlooking yeoman. “What are you here for?” he asked. “To report any thing unusual, sir.” ,f What would you call unusual?” “I dunno’ exactly, sir.” “What would you do if you saw five battleships steaming ‘across that field yonder.” “Sign the pledge, sir.” MUST BE OUT. The editor was frightfully busy. He couldn’t see anyone. When an old friend sent np his card he sighed, but decided- 1 not to see him. He called in the office boy. “Look here,” ho said; “you must tell this man I’m out.l can’t see him; and I wouldn’t offend him for , the world, so be sure to convince him that I really am out. You see?” “Yes, air,” said the boy. Then, after p pause: “I think J should be sure to convince him you were .out if I went to him sjmoking one of yolSr btjßt cigars f”