CORRESPONDENCE.

Wanganui Herald, Volume XXXXV, Issue 13166, 10 September 1910, Page 7

CORRESPONDENCE.

■ Endurance Contests. TO THE EDITOR Sir, —Tn common no doubt with many of your readers, I has e been greatly interested of late in the various contests' which have been held to decide which individual can hold out longest at walloping the key-board of a piano. I have no ■doubt that such contents have their lines. They are not so thrilling as a race between a field of well-trained horses. They don’t give the vigorous, healthful exorcise that a football mutch in tho open air gives. They don’t bestow the same br-r-olit on the body and mind of the individual as a game of golf, nor arc thev of so much uscfulnei-rs to satiety in genera! as contests like civil service examinations, or musical and literary competitions. In fact, there are people unkind enough to eay that contests for the purpose of seeing which of two exhausted and worn-out persons will fall off a piano stool first are mad. idiotic, and senseless. But no doubt they have their uses. At the same time it appears to your humble servant that the field of real usefulness which may be covered by endurance contests is sadly neglected. Consequently I have decided to promote a series of contests which will be fully as exciting to spectators, considerably more healthful to competitors, and vastly more useful to the world in general. Full- particulars will be advertised in duo course, but meanwhile the following outline of competitions will indicate what events possible contestants should go into training for: 1. —.Wood chopping; open to young men with widowed mothers, or hard-working Bisters who have little time for rest or recreation. 2. —Garden digging; open to men who -•pend their half-holidays knocking about Urn streets. 3. —Box carrying; open io those who crowd at overworked railway porters chipping corners off heavy and awkwardly•diaped travelling trunks. - 4,.—Dish washing; open to small boys and girls wdio would sooner play than heln their mothers. S.—Thumb-twiddling; open to those whose capacity doesn’t soar to anything bettor. I think you will agree that the above will not take so long as piano banging, will conduce to healthful sleep rather than deprive - the contestants- of it, and will oprve a distinctly useful purpose. Meanwhile. if any one cares to -dispute my own championship honours 1 am ready to meet him for five bob a side.—l am, etc., JIMFRET COPTON, Undisputed champion of the world in coal-shovelling, pot-walloping, - and linoleum-polishing.