MR O'DOOLAN'S OPINIONS.

Wanganui Herald, Volume XXXIX, Issue 11724, 27 November 1905, Page 7

MR O'DOOLAN'S OPINIONS.

11. On the evening after the conversation recorded in our last, Mr O'Doolan found, on enter ing his usual evening haunt in the Harp of Erin Hotel, that 'Inn O'Grady was alieady. thevo. Giving the lattor Ms usual hearty greeting, the old gentleman sat down in his chair, as Barney Mulcahey brought in "the usual." "AY ©ll, lim," said Mr O'Doolan, "yez is down early this evenin'."

"Ho ! yis," answered Tim, with an assured air ; "afther your enlightened conyersashun of lasht evenin' I thought I'd ses whither that moighty intellick ay yours v/xid. be able t' find army fault wid thim two spalpcei Opposishun candidates." Mr O'Doolan looked at his friend witl> a twinkle of amused surprise in his kindlylooking eyes. "By th' powers, Tim !"' lie rejoined,* "associa6hun wid the bright intillicks that is gathrin' round the shtandard ay that young leader ay mm seems to have put a bit ay shpice into you, that I 'm glad to see. They've done more nor I ivir cud do, givin' ycz a ready tongue. Or p'raps ye silictsd th' longest wurrds in 'Not UncLherstnd' and shining 1 'om •togitber fur th* occashun," concluded Mr O'Boolan, looking 'Hiiniissdly at O'Urady. Tim tried to look unconscious, though truth to tell he was pluming himself not a little on his new-found glibness, having, like many others, been flattered to the top of his bent for saveral weeks.

'■'Now, Tim, me bhoy," continued old Michael, "did yez ivir hear the fable ay the' crow wid a piece ov mate in his to«th. Th' fox shtud beneath him, and praised his luvly voice, and feeliu' a bit kidded loike, he opened his mouth to sing, and dropped th' mate, which the fox ate. That's phwat ye and n lot ay uther foolish bhoy 9 is doin', and yt-z will be dhroppin' your votes into the wrong bashket, unless ye find out furrsl just how th' land lies." "Git on to Bas-ett and Willyums," said Tim, not relishing this advice to check his impetuosity. "Well, Tim, se^in' how anxshus yez ia fur me to size up th' two gints that is hht-uidin' far pure administrashun — or that ?•?/. they is — bem' thiir.silves mimbeis ay Ih' party that fehpint th' taxpayers' money in tiea powdher whin they wiut fur picnics, 1 11 t-cli yez." "Taka Misther Bassett. Him and me has had many an argiment," conthnved Mr O'Doolan, with an expression of smiling recollection vii his countenance, "but tho is very frindly all th 1 same. I lispict Eas«ett, fur he's got many a good point. But in polytics he' 3 barkin' up th' wrong tiee. lies a Lib'ral ye know, Tim; at leY.st he says he is, so v\o must belave him. An' bein* a Lib'ral. his going to support th' Consarvatives."

"Why is ut ho does thai?" queried Tim. As Tim asked his question, the cuckoo clock on tho mantel chimed tho half-hour.

"TV clock's give ye your answer, Tini," said Mr O'Doolan, with a rich chuckle. " 'I'm agin the Seddon Goveajnmint in overy thin', eez Bassett, 'but I'm' not agin its wurrks. It's meashures is good wans, therefore I'm coin' t' knock 'em into th' middle ay nixt~wake. I approve ay their legilashun. Th' Consarvative Opposishun don't, so I'll support the Opposishun. I ain't no cuckoo ; Is:> consistent. I consistintly says the wan, and does th' uther. I ain't no Tory, I deny it wid indignashun, an' so I'll follow ould Masscy. Th' Lib'rals,' sez Bassett, 'is a flock ay sheep — all excipt me. They is hypnertised by their grate leader. Therefore they ain't no orood. Why don't they vote agin him' and let us in? Th' Consarvatives,' he sez, 'is fearless an' indipindint. That's why they always follow Masscy into th' lobby. They is not hypnertiscd; Massey can't do it. They is- mm ay freedom like meself, free to say wan thing and do anuther. Be not like dumb-driven cattle ! Be free, an' go back to half-a-crown a day ! Death to the Arbitrashun Coort ! U» wid Field's shkame ! Hurroo ! Erin go bragh !' An' wid that he danced a break-down, whistlin' to hisself th' tune ay cMcc Me ould pal Dick an' I,' and shlakes his thurst in a copious draught ay Okehu." "Seems to me, he's th' man entoirely," said Tim.

"Ho, yis ! If. only he'd hoist his thrue colouis, instid ay thryin' to catch th' Consarvative vote by roarin' agin the Gov'mint, while all the while he sez he belave3 in their laws. That lasht touch is to catch th' Lib'rals, an' kill two burrds wid wan shtone loikc. As mo frind Dick sez, he's a cuckoo."

Mr O'Doolan gazed reflectively at his glass for a few moments, while Tim softly emitted a succession of double sounds, beginning on a high note and ending on a lower one.

"An' how did yez sum Mishter Bassett up?" he asked at length. "Well," was the answer, "he won't git th' voto ay th' thrue Consarvatives, but only th' wavereis ay tho party, who thinks Consarvative is a pretty name, and haven't th' pluck to say they is Lib'rals. He'll git th' tag-rag an' bobtail ay th' party, Tim, an' be manes ay his kiddin',' assisted by th' sage wisdom ay that mighty oorgan th' Bustsr, 'twill be a fairly big bobtail, unless th' Lib'rals unite."

"An' what about Hascldcn?" was O'Crady's next query.

"Hum !" said old Michael, with a more serious look; "I'm feelin' a bit onasy over him. Th' genuine Conservatives is wid him to a man, and he's gettin' • shtronger ivry ■lay. He's a verry dacint bhoy, he is, but his polytics ain't good. Hd's like Bassett, agin tho Gov'mint. But unlike Bassett, he's also agin their worrks. If I wuz a Consarvative I'd put my hand on him, fur he's genuine an' shtrate out, ut all ivints. And they is shtrong enough to win if they plump for the man that really liprisints thim, seem' as we is shplit. Bad "ess to the 'four blessed 'Connaughters, all pultin' four ways to wanst," said he, bringing his fist down with a ban» on the table. "I thought ye was crackin 3 up Gatenby and Willyums lasht night," grinned, Tim. Well, I remimber they showed a fair :hpirit, and- that what the uther two did not. Gatenby and Wiilvums made a fair propesishun. But t' others sez, 'No, th' neople must rule. We can git in without ill' people. Therefore, we won't have any vofc? ay th' party. We is out fur scalps. We has our eyes on th' seat. Therefore yell give no one else a cliance. That 19 fair. That is Lib'ral. An* if th" seat is 'osb, pliwy for did thim two waqt to ihtand at all, at all.'"

Mr O'Doolan roso from hi 3 chair. "Barney,, me bhoy !" he called out, with his usual cheeriness, "bring us another, and we'll considher ways and manes ay tyin' th' shplit up."