WANGANUI LOAFERS.

Wanganui Herald, Volume III, Issue 503, 12 January 1869, Page 2

WANGANUI LOAFERS.

BY A NEW CHUM.

This peculiar specimen of the "genus homo" abounds in every part of the globe, and includes a vast rariety o f different species, each, having their distinctive traits, locations, and modes of procedure. In Wanganuithe tribe is very numerous, although, when divided into their separate classes, they amount to comparatively few. Some may cavil at my ranking, among- the aristocracy of this calling-, the Governmental or semi-military loafer. This member of the particular section receives g-ood pay, and keeps it by mean trucklingto his superiors, whose very whisper is a w<.rd of command, by no means to be disobeyed, much less to be. commented upon. Blind obedience, and a regular call upon the colonial i treasury, is his," order of the day." He is too well known to need further j description. Next on the list is the | g-entleman loafer. This individual has generally received a tidy education, of which he makes a continual bohst. He has a smattering- of latin, and can quote all the hackneyed aphorisms. He also, has a ' faint glimmering of French, which, when he attempts to utter, he invariably mispronounces, writes a very good hand, can keep accounts, has generally been a clerk in some countinghouse at home, but boasts out here of one of the colleges, former independence, and a mysterious and totally unavoidable downfall in circumstances. His immediate relatives have invariably been of the upper middle class of society, and he vaguely hints at lords and baronets as if they had formerly been his most intimate associates." If he possesses in a proper degree the requisite qualities, he dresses -well at the expense of—his tailor; earns a scanty pittance by keeping some tradesman's books, and ekes out the rest by alternately patronizing the various hotel keepers, until, at last, his "little game" and himself become too well known. This being the case, he borrows a "rise,"and shifts to " pastures new." Sometimes, I however, he fails in- this, when Jus; descent is very rapid, and he becomes ' a confirmed set and cadger extracting, on the plea of hunger, sundry shillings from the pockets of the charitable, which are immediately invested in solitary drinks at the nearest public houses. He has now lost caste, and joins the third class. This is by far the mo. t nnmerons portion of this community. The members are gregarious and nomadic; ! roaming from one hotel bar to an- | other, find with eagle eve watching [ for thfir prey, who is genenilly some ' gqod-DfiMired, half-drunkon fellow. : who will " knock down " in a day or two the hard earnings of the j^ast year. It is more than probable they have some slight knowledge of their victim, but that matters little, for thoy would soon make his acquaintance anyhow. Some are merely harmless soakers, who care for no- ;

thing but drink; fyife others are. a more dangerous ,tnbd, aiid on/pre- ! teuce of taking1 care of their mate, do so, by easing- his pockets on the very first opportunity. They are generally very dirty, very rough,' very lazy, are great swearers and | I boasters, more especially of their pu- ! gilistic abilities, although, when put to the test, the "white feather" is distinctly visible. A pair of black eyes, and a face visibly marked with the .gravel rash is a most distinctive mark of Loafer No' 3. Let me, however, do him full justice; he will freely invite any stranger to drink at his— victim's expense ;' but as this is almost his sole redeeming quality, it does not add much to the credit "side of his account. I need scarcely say that he frequents •' chokee " at regular intervals, that a fire is to him a gold mine, and that it is only want of pluck that prevents his rising to tbe higher grade of " burglar." There is another variety, which I class as No. 4, although, being scarcely fledged, they do not aspire to the companionship of the full feathered; The type of this class is, generally, a quiet lir.tle man, who seats himself in the corner of the bar, is always smoking, and awaits with patience until his more experienced brethren: choose to invite him to a share of the' | spoil. He is seldom otherwise than half muddied; what he eats, heaven alone knows, and sleeps with a tree for his covering, and tbe green sward for his bed. He will, with a cat- j like assiduity, watch his chance, and | should No 3 give him sufficient I opportunity, generally succeeds in pocketing a coin on "the sly. His' favorite pursuit, however, is on a:quieter model. From his corner, he, spider-like, watches some sober but thirsty human fly, enters into a gentle conversation, is asked to drink, pours gently forth his tale of woe, and, being an excellent physiognomist, niostlj does not return empty-handed to his den. He is | otherwise perfectly harmless, and when he does fall into the clutches of the Blues, merely tak^s a three months' spel] under the Vagrant Act. It has always been a matter of deep thought to me why the Legislature makes no distinction between a rogue and a vagabond, or vagrant, for actual knowledge of life distinctly proves them to be two separate orders This, as far as my experience of Wanganui goes, comprises the "genus" Loafer, always bearing in mind that, with the exception of N To 1, who manages somehow to retain his position, the gradations from 2nd to 3rd are infinite, No 4 being of a totally distinct and stationary nature I close my present sketch with a recommendatory adage, which would, if followed, go far to do away with these gentry altogether, although it is perhaps hardly fair to expect as much from weak human nature. It is—Once Brx Twice Shy.