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Westport Times, Volume XVI, Issue 1966, 13 January 1882, Page 4

The Egyptian emblem of a snake with its tail in its mouth was the earliest rign of the " swallow tail." "Always p.iy as you go," said an old man to his nephew. " But uncle, suppose I have nothing to pay with ?" " Thou don't go. : ' When does a lock get ripe enough to pick ? As soon as the spring opens, of course. Some people are so very anxious lest men should be spoiled by the possession of too much money that they strive to get it all themselves. This kind of philantrophy is not uu comtnou. A great crowd beirg gathered about a poor cobbler, who had just died in the streets, a man asked Alexander Stevens " What was to be seen ?" " Oh !" replied he " only a cobbler's end " Dean Swift, hearing of a carpenter's falling through the scaffold of a house which he was engaged in repairing, remarked that he liked to see a mechanic go through his work promptly. Naomi, the daughter of Enoch, was SSO years old when she got married. Take courage ladies. Pin money—This phrase originated in the custom which was in the fif teenth century of making New Tear's gifts of pins to ladies, instead of wooden skewers, which were used till the end of the fourteenth century. There is no better test of purity and true goodness than reluctance to thiuk evil of one's neighbor, and absolute incapacity to believe an evil report about good men. A man called out to his creditor, " Get out, you ornithorhyncus !" The man departed meekly. " Who's that ?" iuqmrcd a friend of the speaker, " An ornithorhyncus." " How's that?" •' Well, Webster defines him as a beast with a bill." A celebrated lawyer ouce said that the three most troublesome clients he ever had were a young lady who wanted to bo married, a married womau who wanted to be divorced, and an old maid who didn't know what she wanted. " Is there much game about here ?" asked a newly arrived stranger in Austin of Patrick O'Kafferty. "ludade there is. There are plenty of curlews, and when you shoot wan of them, the rest will all stay around until you have time to shoot at them, and never fly away till they are dead eatoirely " It was Coleridge who, when asked by a shallow fellow, " Do you really believe that an ass ever spoke to Balaam?'' replied, " Yes : I have been spoken to in the same way myself " " Stole any chickens dis week Brudder Joties ?" said a searching class leader to a member of suspiciously theiviog proclivities. '.' No sah—tank de Lor." " You'se dun well," said the leader and passed on, while " Brudder Jones turns to " Brud der Brown" and whispers, " Lucky he said chickens; if he'd said ducks he'd a had me. Shuah !"