Untitled

Westport Times, Volume IV, Issue 677, 28 June 1870, Page 3

" Mr Snowball, I want to ask you one question dis ebenin'." " Well suceed den." " 'Spose you go to the tavern to get dinner, and don't hab noffin on de table but a big beet, what would you say ?" "I gib dat up afore you ax it. "What should you say ?" " Why, under the circumstances of the case, I shonld say, dat beat's all." A picture at the illumination of Chester, in honor of the Prince of Wales's visit to that city, was very comical. His Eoyal Highness, owing to a slight puncture in the canvas where the eye was painted, was made to appear winking perpetually at a small porkshop over the way. The crowd enjoyed the fun, and one of them hinted that the winking was part of the design. This insinuation so hurt the worthv householder, that he instantly turned off the gas and left the Prince in darkness. A newly-arrived family were lately gazing at a shop window in Eeckford Illinois. Little girl : "Oh mamma, is that a 'en ?" Mamma: " No, my child, that is a howl." Father: " No, my wife and child, that is neither a 'en nor a howl, but its a heagle, the hemblem of this blarsted country !" Why is a sheep the most dissipated and unfortunate of animals? Because he gambols in his youth, frequents the turf, is often a blackleg, and is fleeced annually.