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Westport Times, Volume IV, Issue 642, 7 April 1870, Page 2

Matrimony Defined.—A priest the other day, examining a confirmation class in the south of Ireland, asked the question—" What is the sacrament of matrimony r" A little girl at the head of the class answered, " 'Tis a state of torment into which sowls enter to prepare them for another world." " Being," said the priest, " the answer for purgatory." " Put her down," says the curate, " put her down to the foot of the class." " Leave her alone," said the priest," for any thin' you or I know to the contrary she may be parfitly right." A Bia Sjs-ake.—An Indian came to an agent in lowa to get some whisky for a young warrior who had been bitten by a rattlesnake. At first the agent did not credit the story, but the earnestness of the Indian overcame his scruples. He asked him how much he wanted. ' Four quarts,' was the reply. 'Four quarts!' repeated the agent with surprise ; ' as much as that?' ' Yes,' replied the Indian, frowning as savage as though about to exterminate the whole tribe, ' Four quarts—snake very big.' Hosptt.vlitx. Midland Counties Man (with deep emotion): ' Coom up an' see us, lad, coom! Mak' thee very comfortable—got ta gloves at home, so can knock thee darned old head about for thee!' The Helena (Montana) Herald records the casting of a 50,000 dollar gold brick for Bohm and Aub, the largest that was ever made in the United States. Mr Bohm has offered to make a present of this brick to any one who will shoulder it and walk one mile without stopping. It weighs 270 pounds. The Scotsman, in speaking of the ease with which the Egyption Pyramids are ascended, says a Highland keeper of Lord Dudley's, unaccustomed to anything but G-lengarry aud the Black Mount, was backed to go up faster than any Arab of the desert, and did it.