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Westport Times, Volume IV, Issue 634, 19 March 1870, Page 3

An Hibernian was once brought before a magistrate, charged with marrying six wives. The magistrate asked him how he could bo so hardened a villain? "Why, plase your worship," said Paddy, " I was trying to get a good one. Pour have been transported, and the fifth ran away from me; so, being robbed by all of them, I hope your worship won't send me after them." DuAwrKG.—A drawing-master, worrying his pupil with contemptuous remarks upon his lack of ability, ended by asking, "Now, sir, if you were going to draw me, what part of me would you commence with first ?" The boy, with a meaning look into his master's face, answered, very quietly, " Your neck, sir!"

A provincial editor fell on slippery pavement the other day. He did not use " unparliamentary language," as some would have done; but bit his lips, rubbed down the bruises, and, with a benevolent smile radiating his countenance, remarked, "We don't cherish any ill-will; but for light and

entertaining reading matter recommend us to the obituary notice of the man who ought to sweep this pavement." A Cork paper publishes the following erratum: —" The words printed '" pigs and cows' in Mr Parker's letter on the land question, which appeared in yesterday's issue, should have been pros and cons." When you see a man on a moonlight night trying to convince his shadow that it is improper to follow a gentleman, you may be sure it is high time for him to join the temperance society. The English Parliament enacted, in 1770, that " whoever shall impose upon and betray into matrimony any of his Majesty's male subjects by" scents, paints, cosmetic washes, artificial teeth, false hair, Spanish wool, iron stays, hoops, high-heeled shoes," should be prosecuted for witchcraft, and that the marriage should be null and void.