FILING A SCHEDULE.

Westport Times, Volume III, Issue 490, 13 April 1869, Page 3

FILING A SCHEDULE.

"In a certain office of a certain town, which," says the Bendigo Independent, " shall be nameless, the following tragedy, comedy, farce, or melodrama —we scarcely know which—was lately performed with startling effect to one of the dramatis personce: Scene, a lawyer's office; Oily Gammon, the lawyer, sitting at his desk; enter client (an Italian). Lawyer: 'Good day; pray be seated.' Client: 'Me want file my—what-you-may-call-it.' Lawyer: ' Oh! I know, your schedule. Client: 'Yes.' Lawyer: ' What are your liabilities, and who are your creditors ?' Client: *My baker, my butcher, &c.' Lawyer: 'What assets have you ?' Client: 'Me have a pud-dling-machine, a dam, &c.' Lawyer: * Have you no money ?' (pause.)' Come now, tell the truth.' Client (reluctantly): 'Well, me have a little.' Lawyer: 'How much?' Client: '£s3.' Lawyer : 'Do you know that you will have to go before the Commissioner and swear that you have not got any cash ? Tou had better give me the money, and I will arrange about your schedule.' Client: ' Oh, yes, that will do ; you, Mr , give me the £53 again when me get my certificate.' Lawyer (with a grin) : ' Oh, certainly.' (Client hands over the ' needful,' and makes his exit.) End of Act 1. [A lapse of one month is supposed to have occurred, during which time the client had called — and called again—on the lawyer for his certificate, but did not—though wishing sincerely that he might—get it.] Act 2 scene as before. —Client (getting tired c-f calling) : 'Mr , you give me my £53 and keep certificate.' Lawyer (with virtuous indignation) : ' Get out of my office, or I will have you prosecuted for fraudulent insolvency. I will caU a policeman.' (Rises to call a constable.) Exit client in haste. Grand tableau."