COLONIAL COOKERY.

Westport Times, Volume III, Issue 423, 8 December 1868, Page 3

COLONIAL COOKERY.

[FROM " TOM O' BEDLAM."] To Make Damper.—Take a damp shirt. Hang it out all nigbt in a beavy dew. In the morning it will be damper.

Maori Hash.—Take 200 Armed Constabulary at 3s 6d each, 150 Volunteers, 100 Arawas, and a few sprigs of Colonels, Majors, Inspectors, and Captains. Tie them firmly together with red tape, and baste them with despatches. Stir in one Defence Minister, one George Graham, and 150 gallons of rum. Mix well together ; place in front of a brisk fire for ten minutes; and the hash will be complete.

The Same, as a Salad.—A good dressing for the above ingredients may "be obtained by introducing one TitokoWaru, ar.d cutting it into sbreds. Financial Statement, a la Mode. —Take two facts, a tbousand figures, tbree ounces of falseboods, one pound of exaggerations and excuses, one quart of essence of blue book, and half a pint of extract of Arlam Smith. Mix well together ; garnish with congratulations, compliments, and promises ; and serve with melted butter. It was formerly supposed that tin was a necessary ingredient in this dish, but it is now known to be a fallacy. Brass will answer the same purpose. N. B.—The figures must be well cooked.

A Cheap Dinner for Hard Times. —The smell of an oil rag is considered by some to be nutritious, but we do not recommend it. Venison is better, if procurable.

Ministerial Stew may be made from a strong majority, combined with a vote of want of confidence. N. B.—A bird in the hand makes a good supper in the bush. Too many cooks spoil the policeman.