BREEZES

Wairarapa Daily Times, 26 August 1936, Page 4

BREEZES

The Kick-off! Johnny: ‘‘When are you going to play football, Grannie? Dad says we can have a new car when you kick off.” * # # * Mutual Concessions. “You dare to ask for the hand of my daughter, and a few years ago you were ball boy at our tennis club?” “Yes, sir. I said to myself, ‘He may be a poor tennis player, but that does not prevent his being a good father-in-law ’. ’ ’ * * * * Sweet Sleep. The Irish foreman found one of his workmen sleeping under the shade of a tree. “Sleep on, you idle fellow,” he said. 1 ‘ Sleep on. So long as l you sleep you’ve got a job, but when you wake up you’re out of work.” * * * f “Not for Joe.” Australian aboriginals are quick-wit-ted. One employed on a back-country station was told by his employer to help with the rounding up of stock, and was shown a rather fiery horse to ride. “Oh, no boss,” he said, “you ride that horse and me take another one. ’ ’ The employer’s persuasion failed to move the aboriginal, whose final word on the subject was, “No, boss, you ride him; black fellow, he dying out quick enough already!”

Baboons Play Havoc. A Durban (Natal) girl, nursing in a Bechuanaland hospital, had a narrow escape from being mauled by two black baboons recently (says the Natal Mercury). Returning to the nursing home from tennis about dusk, she was met by the home dog, which was excited and barking wildly. As she wasi about to enter the door the dog caught her skirt and tried to pull her away from the building.

Hearing a great commotion in the dining hall, she feared there was a burglar inside, and peered through a side window on the verandah. The next moment a huge body hurled itself through the window and wire-netting, just missing the girl. When assistance came along an investigation of the interior was made through a Drench door into the dining room. The door was slammed just in time to prevent the infuriated animal attacking the women, and then there was a great noise of crashing ornaments and furniture inside the home. Finally the baboon followed its mate and hurled itself through the wire-netting and disappeared into the bush. The interior of the room was wrecked. No human being is a match for these animals. * * * * Charmed Lives. Only a few weeks ago, John Dallas, a Chelsea pensioner, 88 years of age, slipped on the floor, broke a leg, and died three days later, writes Lawrence Sansom in a London journal. But before that Death had passed him by so often that one may suppose the old chap died with a smile. He had survived the Zulu War, had been in scores of military engagements, and had come out without a scratch. Of women who seem to bear a charmed life, Lady Heath —formerly Mrs Elliott Lynn—the airwoman, certainly has luck. Several times she lias got lost ini fog, and had to make forced landings; she crashed a few times; and once, in America, had to land in barren country where there was every risk of her starving in the desert. But no — just as things looked blackest along came another flyer, spotted her ’plane, landed, and carried her back to safety. During the inquiry into the terrible Gresford Colliery disaster, it was revealed that William Morgan, one of the survivors, had been in seven other pit disasters!

Fred Newberry, a London fireman, has on nine separate occasions been overcome by fumes at big fires —and been rescued by comrades. Twice his life was despaired of by doctors at the hospitals to which he was rushed—but he got through all right! During the building of the Wembley Stadium a man fell off some scaffolding from a considerable height—and suffered nothing worse than a fright. A little later he was crushed by a load of cement being moved by a giant crane. A broken toe was the extent of his injuries.

“I ought to be dead by rights!” he exclaimed to a fellow workman. And an hour later, on the way home after having his injured foot attended to, he fell in the street at a crossing—and the tram stopped just in time!