LIFE’S LITTLE WANTS.

Wairarapa Daily Times, 12 October 1929, Page 4

LIFE’S LITTLE WANTS.

Knowledge!

Hard-hearted Grocer: "No, sir! No cheques. I wouldn’t cash, a cheque for mv own brother.”

Customer: "Well, of eourse, you know vour family better than. I do.”

Seeing!

"If you took a magnifying glass,” he said, "and looked into the lungs of a dog, what would you see?” Everyone gave it up, after being told that "air” and "'lungs” were incorrect answers.

"You would see,” he told .them, "the seat of his pants.” Uncle Dick was particularly amused. Next day he asked thp question at work. No answer was forthcoming, so ho cleared his throat for the laugh. "You would see,” he said impressivelv, "the seat of his trousers!” v * * "The Ups and Downs. » Thc famous are not without their trials, says a Sydney echange. Wffiile breakfasting at the picturesque Banff Hotel (Canada), good fortune placed a celebrity at a table adjoining .that of Arthur Mailev, who returned, to Sydney from America. Tho opportunity was seized, and a fine drawing and ex- v cellenff likeness was the result. cricketer-cartoonist regarded his han- • diwork with satisfaction, and, turning to the waitress, asked if he might take the menu. "Of course, you can,” she answered. "But, wait on, ITI get you a new one. You’ve scribbled on that one.” ’ ' * * * * =^-' The Marble "Eye.” 'The "marble system” of com.munieation is still in operation at Auburn Prison, New York, just as it was when the prison was built more than 160 years ago. In the warden’s office is a high slot, in which he places a marble. The marble runs to Guard. ?70. 1, who sendsVy its along to Guard No. 2. Thus i|p makes the rounds of the sentries, anr^^

returns to the warden’s office, assuring him that all is quiet.

Profits on Tobacco.

An interesting light on tke profits of tobacco is furnished by the official figures in Italy, where there is a State monopoly of all smokes. Total receipts for the year. 1927-28 were 3,462,654,635 lire, or 16,355,883 more than in 192627. After paying all expenses, the net profit for the State was 2,607,314,454 lire, or about £25,500,000. During the year 31,000,000 kilograms of tobacco were consumed, or 0.731 kilograms per head of the population; that is to say, the Italians spent an equivalent of s2 lire and 32 centimes per head on tobacco in the year.

Ordered to Learn Chess.

Sultan Khan, the 24-year-old Indian who became British chess champion at Ramsgate Congress, is one of ten brothers who were compelled by their father to,learn the game. His reputation spread throughout the Punjab, wffiLjJfc ho was born, and attracted the notfcof of Colonel Sir Umar Hayat, a member of the Indian Council, and it was in official circles at Simla he turned his attention to the European game, in which he came to the front through his victory in an all-India tournament at Delhi last year.

Beautiful Bigamist.

Adrienne'Guyot, a pretty, fashionably dressed, golden-haired woman, who is not yet forty, has, according to a Brussels evening paper, been arrested on a charge of bigamy. Her story is one of the most extraordinary ever written. She was born in Mons of humble parents, and seems to have recognised quite early that her beauty was an asset. While still very young, she found her way to Paris and attracted the attention of a wealthy man, whom she married. She afterwards mcJved to Nice, Borne, Madrid and holiday resorts. As she swept from triumph to triumph she became the envy of titlc*| women of the circles to which si^P-

gained entry. Scandals which she caused were suppressed so that the names of those concerned might not be sullied. One after another men of substance became engaged to or “married” her, only to be deserted when their funds ran out. At last she found an American who settled a fortune on her, and for four years she was able to squander money.

Becently she went to Brussels, and was about to contract another “marriage ’ ’ when she was recognised by a former “husband.” Despite her denials she was arrested and imprisonod on a charge of “committing fraudulent marriage.” It is estimated that she was engaged 652 times, and that shfp went through the marriage service op times. /