Our Wellington Watchman.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2712, 29 September 1887, Page 2

Our Wellington Watchman.

. ..Wellington, September 28. Stranger, stop! and drop a silent tear! Robertua Robiistus is—politically—no more, "I bad'foresworn politics, but it is impessible to avoid. adding my tribute. of grief upon the occasion of the political decease of Sir Robert Stout, K.C.M.G, He has faded off the political field'as a little damaged daisy fades, wthered like.the grass, tliat'- perisheth, and -his place .Ml know him no more. ■ At last; at

lastliG : haa muffled up his mighty face and fallen at the base of Pompey's statue. , 0h I what a fall was - there, my countrymen, and how the, Robert rode for that fall ! Another of my .prophecies: is coming true; in", five years'time New Zealand will have forgotten the patriot as completely as if he had neVer been.

; Persiflage eVone-side,'' Bir.ftobert' Stout has .W thafik : forhis defeat; SiMd V'great ofifreer;be.* fore., him,: ah&M.he'%fr tiddeh' straight; had hiljlit beefl thoroughly ;in : ;earn6st, he have" ajifameill sdinething far belter tlfan 'mere /flefit•ing Celebrity, but his " vaulting arnbi* tion" o'eHeapt it^|idhe v . ,1 the other side," '' ■

poured in *Upo4 tfe.latfe Premier-fldy or may ■ not be genuinely meant. Considering that he declared he would not, if beaten/' re-enter political life, we can but suspect that these offers have been made 'with an eye to dramatic effect, Knowing Sir Robert, we do not think it will be wiso to tompt him top much, I havo a strong impression that he resembles the dear yOung creatures of the female persuasion whom we sometimes meet iu society, and who, when: asked to trill . say - the " Last - Rose' of Summer,'' decline'until sufficiently pressed. If Dr Fitchett or the sympathetic' 'Jack; Kemonly press Bobby with sufficient \:ehomeuce to accept their..seats, we shall lind, OWO of these fine-mornings, that lie has taken one of those devoted henchmen at his word.

At the same time, I hardly oxpect that any constituency would poriri.it, itsoli" to be swapped in this cool manner. If Sir Robert Stout reconsidered his oxpressed dotormina.* tion and stood for Motueka, surely the Opposition would contest the seat with the very boat man .available.,. If no one else offers, I—but my modesty prevents me saying more.

Takon all round, the elections have been satisfactory, iu so far that. the. best men have, as a rule, won. The defeat of Mr Bryce is a calamity. Quito independently of party considerations,''the country as a whole canuo.t: afford to lose tho services of such a man as the Hon. John Bryco. That Jack Kerr should have beaten, talented, and genial Hursthouse is just one of those femous. tilings that., no fellow car- understand, unless jye believe the, rujtior, thai Mr Kerr was liberally with Government money, and ptosMr Hwsthp.p' hid' no such Archimetloaii Jevsr to work with. '• Kerr, 'jaa compared to HuibJhouse is a3 a blind mote to a nmn..

Allow me to congratulate you upon the result of the Wairarapa eleosions. All is well that ends well; I might enlargo upon this topic, but the; strong should also be iiiorciful.

The Victorians are a strange race ofpeople, assuredly—eteraaUyrunning after some now thing. Recently, an unfortunate girl committed suicido by' leaping into tho river Yalta. .TJje circumstances couaeoted witlj'. het. death were somewhat |eculfe ais : Eo the entire- adult popul.atiou of MeV hourue.turned 0ut...t0 witness the operation of dragging ( 7or her. botlyy' Families took their luncheon and made a pidnic of it; there; were; Bands of musio and other divpraiorwi,? and lam not sure that tho hon'ost' gentleman with the three'card trick, aud the : thimble and pea industry, were not represented. Youngine'n took' their best girls to see the fun, and the whole of- the betting gent were on hand to lay odos against the body being found at anv one. particular spot. What the. Melbourne people want is evidently a few hand-• some morgues scattered about the city; and a large importation of Frenoh and ; Belgian murderers, and a nice fresh' corpse or two on view daily. Mel-' bourne has a magnificent crop, of larrikins, and I would humbly suggest that these might be publicly executed on Sundays and half holidaya for the delectation of the populace; this'wotild afford a good deal of whole-souled excitement and be instructive,amusing, and useful—especially to the larrikins. This Australian crazp for novelty aud excitement is one of the most unwholesome mental symtoms' conceivable. The Victorian people seem to combinemany of the worst characteristics, of the Parisian and New Yorker. •

Says a late issue of a Sydney paper ; " A pair of curtains costing £4Q '\yas recently ordered for one of thellinisterial residences at Wellitigton, .N.Z., but was rejected as not good enough by the mistress of the and a more expensive article pvodured. The rejected curtains now' lyin£ in: the Public' Works stord awaiting the tUte on which they will M utilised as' dusters"

- Stories about the eleptioa: are coinmoricrog.to fly ipoiie;. A certai&; defeated One evening', a case 'of . braiidy. made its appearance, but the- boss committeeman. gave strict thftt it was to remain unopened ijntil polling day, The members of the 6ommitteo.v?ere/ however, tiiiwty souls, but there were among A. ind B.—who suffered %Jifi a wild; raging, and' ohronic drouth. A, and, 8., in a. moment of terrible temptation,' broke into the committee room and stole the 'case of'. brandy—subsequently dividing the sptfil, tw&fiV bpttlep each. They then tossed up' a crooked threepenny tO';de|eririjiie .whose shaft, of the plunder should be .first consumed— A. and- B. should first drink A.'s si? bottles,-, or whether B. and A. should imbibe ; B.'s half dozen. .A. lost, and. he and B. and one chosen friend pledgedone another until they saw wild cats, snakes and taniwhas. lotwcis finished, he proposed to they shouldj ! consume the secreted , treasure of the latter, but B. s&itlie had i buried his half dozen, and fpr: the life -of him could not remember where. At" this A. got mad, but said nothing. That afternoon;. however/' the third mail whom I will cftH' 0., waited in a

hurried wanner upon B. and said: j " Some of the Committee have found i . out that jon Wok ; that brandy, atld ;j, . have been hunting about for it, and I think havo found it. Then lie . left, ;* before B. could question him. When : the'shades of .'night had fallen, B. stole out to the place where brandy ; to his.joy that thp : in ■a hoUoTi , • tree], End rejoicing. .'A. .and j 7 C. h&d> v liove6v6r, followed B. at a'dia- • \ he had .retreated, ? ■ the /brandy aiid ara i& ' ide&l hospital,-suffering from delicious : triangles, ■ ..." ' liatfily,-somewhere in' New ZealMfflw a Jewing Driiia died. A brother Druid™ .whij earned a festive iiving.by, digging. " h .discerned a-method by which j his respeqt to.tttl , deceased, Grand Past Panjanjohr6mffl| l and earn-.an;; honest penny himself. y He proposed to the local craft that the.,, ! ; corpse should have a. grand Druidical : ■ monument'erectedtohim. The other ;. Royal Aiohes in bed-gowns consented, j and tho proposer famished a splendid 1 . . de3igii of broken columns, altara with stone men in beards and Druidioal ' 'sacrifices-all in the best taste. Un- ~ fortunately, although the grave dig- ; ger's design was approved of, another brother got ; the job of construction, 'and now the. original grave-digger and designer has,', appealed to the local Bishop to Winv whether the church \ wilrsanction a heathen monument in j' • a'Christian Cemetffly, and the Bishop rather thiuks the church will not—there is. generally sheol to pay. jW\