BRIEF MENTION

Waimate Daily Advertiser, Volume XVIIII, Issue 369, 12 August 1916, Page 3

BRIEF MENTION

INTELLIGENCE AND HUMODE. It is expected that the proceeds of the Waituna Bed Cross entertainment will total between £22 and £25. •A flag fetched £l6. James Baldwin, the young prisoner- who escaped from Mount Cook Gaol last week, has not he.cn recaptured. The Minister of Defence has arranged for about 1200 of the Sixteenth Eeinforcements to visit Dunedin prior to their departure ior the seat of war, ’■ ‘‘Please, sii\ ought I to be punished for something I have not done?’’ asked the pupil. “Certainly not,’’ said the teacher. ‘■Weil, then, I haven’t done any homework.’’ Imports of benzoline, gasoline etc., during the first six months of this year amounted to 1,256 770 gallons, valued at £67 7,17, and the benzine imported during the period mentioned totalled 3,201645 gallons, to the value of £161,506. Avoirdupois: I’ll bet you live bob iluu I can run around that track in less than a minute. lias anyone got a stop-watch? , Wit: .You don’t want a stop-watch. Hey! Who’s got a calendar? • At a recent.ploughing match, says the Hastings correspondent of thsi Napier Telegraph, the- winner of the prize for the ploughman with the largest family earned oil the honours from all competitors with a progeny of three. So much for the lusty race of ploughmen. “I thought you were a fresh air fiend,’’ said the visitor. "So I am.” ‘‘Then why -are all the windows closed?” ‘‘Because one of my neighbours is just now playing an air on his phonograph that in anything but fresh.” A writ lias been issued by Mr C. P. Skorrett, K.C., on behalf of Turnbull and Jones against the ,Qhaku.no Borough Council for the recovery of a sum of £1096 12s lOd, alleged- to bo balance of moneys owing on a n e lcc. trie light contract. Sir Francis Bell is defending the borough. It was spelling’ time in a district school. Teacher: Now, children. What does golden spell? Whole Class: (Painful silence). Teacher: Well, what colour is my hair ? Whole Class: Ginger, miss,! -After the recent floods in' Nelson it seems paradoxical that that city should have experienced something of a water famine during iast week end. It appears that the flood waters the other day had brought a lot of debris into the w&ir, and a tree trunk had blocked the scour pipe for some time. ’•Pop,’’ enquired little Clarence Lillywhite, “what am a millennium?” “Sho,” said his parent, ‘doan’ yo’ know what a millennium am, chile? It’s jes’ about do same aa' a centennial, on’y it’s got mo’ legs.’ Eegulations are now being prepared under the War Eegulations Act which will impose an absolute prohibition on women entering and being served with liquor in hotel bars. ■ ! - The teacher in a country school was giving her pupils a geography lesson, and after demonstrating and trying to teach them about volcanoes and mountains, she asked: ‘■What is a mountain?’* No on© spoke* and she was just giving Up, when a young hopeful put up his hand and replied: ‘‘P-p-lease, it’s a paddick with its hack up.” During the first half of this year 3131 motor vehicles, valued at £412032 were imported into NOW’ Zealand In addition there were! imported 6896 bicycles arid motor bicycles the of £72,922. Everything was going smooth! v , the programme was an unusually large one, and the village schoolroom was packed to its utmost Capacity. lu the course of the concert a lady and gentleman appeared to sing a duet. Mrs O’Elynn nudged her husband. “Don’t yez see, Patsy,” she explained, ‘‘now that it’s gettin’ late in the evenin’ they do he puttin’ tbim on two at a toime." Flumley: -Well, you’ve nerve, I should say! Asking me for a fiver arid saying nothing about .the ten I loaned you. Elimloy: Why, man, where’s your business sense?' The! ten wa s a war loan for establishing "a credit, “Father, who owns 'these parks?” asked ahoy while out. fori'a walk, ‘‘,Wo. do, my son,’, ’replied 1 thei boy’s parent—we, the people. As a port of the ,people, James, ’we have a right to consider -ourselves tho owners. It is a glorious feature’ of our form of m y boy,’’ ho continued, his eyes kindling, ‘■that the people ares absolute. "All property rights afe biased, on-their consent. The property .baothlel from thorn, and will finally revert to tbelm, Tho .wilT.pt the '-peoplel >xs the supreme law.’;. ‘‘Hello, there IV shouted the (harsh, imperious park policeman; -‘‘gefc ;that .grass,;, tar’ ~ .i, i > ji f * \ y.-w