HUMOUR
Getting Up To It • Smith and Jones were at the circus. Smith turned to Jones and said, “How did Johnson come to be an elephant trainer?’’ “Well,” his friend replied, “he used tn run a set of performing fleas until his eyesight got bad!”
“Go and tell them that they mustn’t crack nuts with their heels!”
Cause for Alarm “Well.” said the boss, a little crosi that morning, “I'm glad to notice that you are arriving punctually now.” “Yes, sir. I’ve bought a parrot.” “A parrot? What on earth for? I told you to get an alarm clock.” “I did. But after a day or two 1 got. used to it and it didn't wake me. So 1 got a parrot. And now when 1 go to bed I fix the alarm clock and put the parrot cage on top of it. What that bird says when the alarm goes off would wake King Tut I in: 'lf!
Brown's Christmas Dream.
Hard Luck The taxi came to a halt. The fare descended and proceeded to search bis ppekets. “Sorry, old man,” he said, finally, “but I haven’t a. bean." Then seeing that the driver was not taking it too well, he added: “That's the position, old man; and you can’t get blood out of a stone.” “No,” agreed the driver, rolling up his sleeves; “but what makes ynu think vou're a stone?”
“Yes, Father Christmas, . a. moment, please, . . . I’ll turn on the wireless! ’ ’
An eminent scientist and his wife were travelling north, where the former was to fulfill an engagement. The professor utilized some of the time spent in the train in rehearsing hi* speech in a low voice, using his hand* to emphasize certain passages. A woman who had been watching and listening learned forward and, tapping the scientist’s wife on the shoulder, whispered feelingly, “You have my sincere sympathy, my poor woman: I have one just like him at. homo
“You niusn’t peep ... it isu I very amusing to receive a Christina* present you’ve already seen!”
Crash! “Mummy,” came the voice of a little “Yes, dear!’’ “You know that vase you said had been handed down from generation to generation!” “Yes?” “Well, this generation has dropped
Permanent link to this item
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/WC19390306.2.31
Bibliographic details
Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 83, Issue 54, 6 March 1939, Page 5
Word Count
369HUMOUR Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 83, Issue 54, 6 March 1939, Page 5
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