HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 80, Issue 255, 27 October 1937, Page 3

HUMOUR

The party was going with a swing, tnd, as a great treat, seven-years-old Betty had been allowed to stay up late. As the evening wore on. she became very quiet, anil, linally. her weary voi< e was heard piping up: “1 think I’d like to go to bed now, mummy. I’m tired this night life.”

The man who forgot to take his hammock into the country !

The teacher was explaining the difference between the stately rose and the modest violet. ‘‘You see, children.” she said, "a beautiful, well-dressed woman walks along the street, but she is proud and does not greet anybody—that is the rose. But behind her conies a small f ‘.Feature with bowed head ” I *’Yes, miss, I know,” Tommy interrupted. 4 ‘That’s her husband.”

44 What a difference now that awful Toar has stopped ! ”

The thrifty wife had persuaded her husband to buy a small cask of beer instead of going each evening to the local pub. When he had drunk the first glass his wife said, “Now, John, lad, you can reckon you’ve saved a penny.” “You’re right, lass,” he replied. “I’ll draw another one and make it twopence we’ve saved. At this rate I’ll soon be able to buy thee a fur coat.”

The motor-cyclist who turned jockey takes his fiancee for a .Sunday jaunt.

A Don who had been occupied for nany days in the preparation of examnation papers was asked to read the lesson at daily prayers. It was the passage containing the Ten Commandments. In a fit of abstraction at the end of the reading the don added: “Only live of these need be attempted.”

~ I “It’s to my wife. I pr'»mi>e«l her al letter from every plac*' where we| stopped I ”

The squire was playing cricket for the village eleven. It was a breezy day, and the fast bowler with the wind behind his back was almost unplayable. lie sent down one ball to the squire which just grazed the bail and carried it The batsman, with the utmost sangfroid, remained in his crease and, picking up the fallen bail, remarked threateningly to the umpire, "Devilish windy k>-day, George.” The umpire replied, dryly, "Yes. sir, is. But I’m not. And you’re out.”