HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 80, Issue 243, 13 October 1937, Page 3

HUMOUR

Baby’s Turn A young man in a bad emper wc=„ wheeling a baby carriage backwards and forwards along the pavement in, front of a block of flats. 41 My dear,” came a voice from an Upper window. 44 Let me alone, can't you?” ae thrieked back, and went on wheeling. An hour later the same voice came from the same window in earnest, pleading tone?. 44 George!” “Well, what he deuce do you tvant?” he shouted. “Have the waterpipes burst?” “No, George, dear,*’ wailed the voice; 4 ‘the water pipes are alt right, hut you’ve been wheeling Betty’s doll all the afternoon. Hadn’t you better let baby have a turn now?” 4> <S> <§> «• Mistake A very thin goalkeeper in a village football match was being annoyed by a small terrier that had run on to the field. When he could stand it no longer he turned and shouted to the spectators:--4 4 Hi! Whoever owns this rotten little mongrel might have the decency to call him off he field.” A voice came out of the crowd. “Come here, SSpot I Them ain’t bones. Them’s legs.”

•"Wherever did you catch that cold, ?rs Brown?” ‘’l must have caught the germs when I heard the radio announcer sneeze last t 1 "--’

Playing Safe The proprietor of Bougie’s Tiav.d.ling Circus was looking worried as he faced his frowning company of performers. ‘•You all know that business is bad just now,” he said, “and that's why last week J. could only pay you haliwages. This week things have been even worse!” A threatening growl came from the assembled artists. -Mr Bougie wiped r fiis damp forehead and went on: 4 ‘l’ve—I’ve gone carefully into the matter of the cash in hand, and find I can only pay—er —two —1 mean three of you this week. The three lucky ones are Hercules, the strong man, Dave Dauntless, the lion-tamer, and—aud Gorilla Gripper, the all-wrestler!’* <t> '®» •!> Having attended a lecture on lathercraft ho began to interest himself in the welfare of the children, and prepared for the new deal. “Now, children,” he demanded, "tell me who has been most obedient during the year and has taken mo»t notice of everything mother has said?” “You, daddy,” came the chorus.

“Isn’t this soup delicious, Dick. I Icard the recipe over the radio yesterday. ’ ’ Dick: 4 ‘lt must have been a rotten day for static.”

Unlucky They were just home from holidays, but Sandy was looking dejected. “An’ wha ’s wrang wi’ ye?” asked " his wife. “Weel, Ah think were aboot the maist unlucky family in the wurrld. ” “I dinna understan’ ye,” ieplied ais wife. 44 We’ve jist had a rare holiday, hav ’ we no’? ” .“Ay, that’s the trouble. We’ve had H guid holiday an’ we’re a’ in the best o’ health, an’ here’s a’ the chemists in the toon soilin’ off their medicines at hauf price,” explained Sandy 3> & v Explained <4 George, ” said Mrs Lovewcll to her husband, “I have received a letter from mother in which she says she u not accepting our invitation to visit us, and that we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I asked vou to write and tell her to come at her own convenience. You wrote to her, didn’t you?” 4 4 Yes,” said George, 4 4 but—er—l couldn’t spell that word 4 convenience,' no I made it 4 risk.’ ”