HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 80, Issue 243, 13 October 1937, Page 3

HUMOUR

Motive “You say you came to the city to iook for work. J put it to you, there was another, a stronger motive that I trough you all that distance.” ••Well,” ihcsitated the del'endau’, ‘•Ah!’’ cried the barrister, triumphantly. “And v. hat w: •; ii.”’ ‘ ’ A locomotive. ’ ’ Not Likely He was postered by his little son ask oig questions. One evening as he sat down i’or a quiit read a small voii .j piped: “Daddy, am I made cr dust? - ’ “I think not.” said the father, “otherwise you'd dry up now and then.’ ’ Value for Money After buying a sixpenny novel from t'.ie bookstall assistant, t'hc man from Aberdeen said: “I’ll put tihe book in my pocket, but you might wrap the uniform in a piece of paper.” ‘•Uniform, sir? What uniform?” asked the young man. Tho buyer opened the book and he!J “It says 'here, ‘Uniform with this volume.’ ”

When the deer-stalker substituted a 15-pointer for the hat rack.

Solved. Among the problems presented to the Post Office during the recent ru-’u of Christ mas traffic was a letter addressed to someone at "Keyside, Arijaba.” Ils destination i»as not Abyssinia, or some other place in Africa. The letter was correctly delivered I Quayside, lltuwich Harbour. “One one side of me a liun was creeping up; on the other a tiger approached stealthily. When they were abou a yard from me, what do yor think 1 did?” “Woke up?’’ “Gee! 1 couldn’t have slept 31 after that.’’ <?> <*><s><•> Visitor: “These biscuits are level?, Airs Hnjb'i. 1 don’t know how m I’ve had.” Little Tommy: “You’ve had seven!” “1 don’ know what’s come over my husband this morning, Alary,” said the young wife to her new maid. “He’s gone to town whistling like a bird.” “I expect it's iny fault, num,” said Alary. “I made a mistake this morning and cooked he bird-seed in: trad the oatmeal.' ’

The borough council street repalrei who got a job in the post office.

Absurd It was Saturday again, and young Tommy was eagerly devouring the football news. Now and again he was interrupted by his mother’s fond talk to wee baby brother. ‘ ‘Diddums darling. Mother’s swe it pet. ” Tommy scowled behind this paper. 4 ‘Dive mummie a tiss. Dat’s mother’s pet. She wouldn’t part with him for ten thousand pounds.” This was too much for Tommy. “Don’t be ridiculous, mother,” ho exclaimed, scornfully. “Why, Blackburn Rovers gave only six thousand for Bruton.” <£ <§> •$> Limit A Frenchman on a visit to Britain decided to learu the English language. Accordingly he went to classes. The words “rough,” “dough,” and “through” caused him endless difficulty. For hours the wrestled with them. All in vain. At last he admitted himself defeated and loft tho class. Glancing across the road he saw a huge cinema placard with the words “‘GLAMOUR.’ Pronounced success!” The Frenchman fainted. In the Dark It was late a night when the lights in the crowded bus failed, and the passengers were thrown into confusion. [ “Can I find you a strap?” Robinson asked the pretty girl at his side. “No, thanks,” she replied, “I’ve just found one.” 44 G00d. Then perhaps you won’: mind lotting of iny tie.”