HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 306, 31 December 1935, Page 10

HUMOUR

Fishy A woman sat down at a vacant table and, after consulting the menu, ordered some whiting. The Cockney waitress went away, nearly a quarter of an hour passed aud Still she did not return. At last the visitor grew impatient, and getting up from the table, she discovered the girl talking in a corner ■with the other waitressew.

“Why haven’t you brought my fish?” demanded the hungry customer. “What fish!” replied the girl.

4 'Why, the whiting I ordered.” •‘Oh! n was the astonishing answer. *‘l didn't know you ordered anything: I thought you said you was just sitting down waiting’”

Bunny Also Ban. •'Ah’ve got a line whippet,” said one forkshireman to another. “And ah’ve got a rabbit,” said his friend. “Let's have some sport.” Putting the rabbit in a bag, they proceeded to a field, gave bunny a Etart, and released the whippet, whereupon both streaked out of sight, follow ed by their owners. “Hast seen pup and rabbit?” they Inquired of a farmer two fields farthel “Aye. ’' “How were they going?” “Pup leading by six lengths!” & <s> O Doctor: “Now, take a deep breatl and say nine, three times.” Willie (after inhalingV “Twenty •even.”

Too Late The man watched his Irish gardener sweeping up leaves from the newiyclipped hedge and depositing them in a basket. Suddenly the gardener straightened up, stood as in deep thought, then took a running kick at the basket. “Whatever did you do that for?” the man asked. “Do ye remember Sally that was a maid here about twenty’ years ago?” asked the Irishman, excitedly. “Yes, I believe I do.” “Well, for sure, I was standm’ at the back door with her one night an’ she said it was cold, so I gave her my muffler. Begorra, and a little while after she said it was still cold, so I gave her my coat. Now it's just struck me that she wanted me to cuddle her.” ❖ ❖ ❖

A certain bishop was expected to visit a girl's school in Essex. The scholars had been instructed to stand up when the distinguished visitor arrived, and say, “Good morning, my lord.” There was a knock at the classroom door, and a man entered. Immediately the girls stood up and greeted him with: “Good morning, my lord.” The poor man was bewildered. Ho was a carpenter who had been sent to xepair a desk.