HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 283, 3 December 1935, Page 10

HUMOUR

Expored ? He had poured forth passionate delarations of love to the pretty g’.r. at his side. He did not t’ninx he v. acapable of such eloquence. Ye. m the midst of his loving words the girl yawned. Even though she ra sed he? hand to conceal it, it did not escap his eager eye. His torrent uf burning words eeased. The light of hope died in his eyes. “Why speak to me oi love.’ he cried, hoarsely. “Y less! Your yawn slow,it!" “Oh, Clarence,” she whispered, horroratrickcn, “did I open : y mouth as wide as that The Scots parent was answering a deluge of questions put to him by hi.•maul son. “And who was Burn.-, dad T* ’ ‘•Burns, my boy? A famous Scottish poet.” “And Wallace ?” “Ah! A famous Scotti.-h hem.’* “And Shakespear?’’ •‘Shakespear? A—er —a great British playwright.”

, 4< C'an any of you gentlemen change a •hilling? I still have a couple of calls tn make. 1 ’

Blenkinsop, arriving at lodgings he had engaged by post, surveyed the bedroom and noted the absence of a ■washstand. “And where,” he asked in dignified atones, “do I perform my ablutions?” “If it’s a new trick,” replied the landlady sharply, “you’ll not do it hi these rooms. I had two chair.- busted by a bloomin’ acrobat last week.” The minister was loud in his praise I nf the juicy goose his coloured host I provided for dinner, and finally asked: “Where did you get such a fine goose as that ?” “Pahsoii,” replied his host, “when you preaches a good sermon Ah doan I ex whar you got it. Ah hopes y«»u have de same consideration for me.”

“So you think I should keep to my £ed for a few days, doctor?” “Certainly not, but I strongly adnse you to keep to it for a few nights. “

•*What can I asked the nursemaid. < ‘Th , y will not eave off quarrelling.” “Send them to me and 1 will sing tv shem,” said their mother. “I have threatened them with that, but it made no difference.”

Artist: So you like my picture. Weary One: I don’t know about that. but this chair is jolly good.

A musical-comedy star, no longer youthful, joined a touring company. Business was not particularly good and the tempers of the company suffered accordingly. Relations became tome what strained between the star and certain members of the choru-. There came a knock at the star’s door. “Who is it, and what do you want?” •he demanded sharply. “There’s a woman in front who’d very much like to see you. She says< •he was a chum of yours at school. Shah I show her in?” From the corridor came the voice of a chorus girl: “Wheel her in!”