HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 205, 2 September 1935, Page 10

HUMOUR

Hiking Reflections The hiker walks for milo and Julies, > And gaily thinks. ‘‘All Nature smiles,’ But 1 think Nature’s most polite. Because it does.n’t laugh outright. “What did the doctor say about you’ “He said I was as sound as a florin.” “ Was that, all?” ‘•No. Then he sent me a bill tor tcn-and-six. ” ♦> • * Properties Two broken-down actors met. and one said to the other, “How is it with you. laddie?’* “Fair, laddie, fair. I’m in a show.-’ ‘•Splendid! Is the pay good? ’ “Not so bad; not so bad. No actual salary, but a good feed in the second act.**

A Gem of a Wife. He (passionately): Three times I’ve asked you 1 to marry me. and three times you’ve refused. Are you deaf to my pleadings? She (callously): I am. He (pleadingly): But what if I offer you a diamond ring? She: Oh, then I’d think about marrying you. I’m not “stone” deaf. Triumph for Science. “D’you hear Erica is marrying her X-ray specialist?” “Well, she’s lucky. Nobody else could sec anything in her.”

Winged Helpers. Old Lady: Constable, can you direct toe to the Flying Squad? Policeman: What do you want with the Flying Squad, ma’am?? Old Lady; Oh, I want them to capture my canary; it’s escaped! Lucky. Diner: Look here, miss, I only had a portion of trout, and here I’m charged with the whole fish. Waitress: Sorry, sir, but it’s the custom of the establishment. Diner: Then it’s a good thing I didn't order beefsteak! & » Science note: A scientist says glass is not a solid, but a rather hard liquid. We cannot swallow that!

Believe It Or Not Dawn found an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman, Hie three surviv-• org of a shipwreck, drifting helplessly | on a raft in the middle of a vast ocean. Night came, and still no sign of rescue. When all looked hopeless, the Irishman knelt in silent prayer. Quickly the Englishman snatched off his hat as ' • mark of respect, and the Scotsman took a flying leap into the sea. He thought the Englishman was •bout to make a collection! •> • The latest stjl,- of fishing rods has a i compartment in the handle for carrying 1 th£ bait. It holds about a pint.