HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 182, 6 August 1935, Page 10

HUMOUR

Overheated. •strict Marage:: Why do you hol«l th-- pen in the ink so long? Office Boy (who has applied for an increase in salary): To cool the nib, A Gf od Sign. Doctor: How’s your patient ftti*. morning, nurse? Nurse; He’s much more like him self, doctor. He’s beginning to blow the froth off his medicine. <•> ? Last Wish. The beautiful creature was just leaving the hotel where she had stayed for the past year. “There is my address,” she said t«» the clerk, “but if any letters come from a tall dark man, throw them in tlu wastepaper basket.”

Dying For It. 'Now. Patrick,” said the smiling ; riest as he looked at his black sheep landing outside a public-house, waiti.ig for it to open, “you look like a man who’s going to be hanged, anil I think—” “Oh, then, Father, you’re not far out there. I’m waiting for the bolt to be drawn, and then I’m sure of having a drop.” ♦ ♦ Safety, Comfort. The train was painfully slow. Yt stopped at all stations, and in between many of them. An inspector came along and asked to see the tickets. “Rut this boy can't travel for half fare,” he said to a lady who was accompanied by her big son. “He’s much too big.” “He may be now,” was the woman’s reply, “but he way small enough when wc started”

••Souperfluous. ’ ’ Waiter: Would you like to try otn windmill soup, sir? Diner: Windmill soup? What’s that.’ Waiter: You get sonic if it goes round. ■s>£><«> <3> Useful. A man from tho country saw an an icle in a music shop, but could not un derstand the purpose for which it wn> used. “What is that thing for!” h asked the shop assistant, indicating tharticle in question. “That, sir, is a chin rest,” said th' assistant; “it is used quite a lot lq women violinists.” The man from the country gu\e <• cry of joy. “Give me one of them, he said. Then, after a pause, add “No, I’ll take two. .We’ve got tli missus’s mother staying with u* a-

Loitering. The policeman went up Io the litOo man standing on tho edge of the ptnr ment iu the busy street. 4 ‘Look here,” said tho constable, “you’ve been hanging about here for two hours or more. What are you do ing? You n>ist either play some in strument or offer something for sale you can T stand hero begging, you “It’s all right!” .-aid the other. ’ My in that shop, buying * hat!”