HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 158, 9 July 1935, Page 10

HUMOUR

Defined Income —something you can't live within or without. <t> «> <& According To Precedent. Husband: If a man steals, no matt i what, he will Jive to regret it. Wife (coyly): You used to steal kisses from me before we were married. •■W'll. you heard what I said.” <•> From North of Tweed' A correspondent iu a contemporary wants to know what exactly is tossing the caber. It's just one of those Highland flings. The Knock-Out A spectator who was struck by the ball and rendered unconscious for a few minutes at a recent league match was thought to be married, because when he came to he murmured. “Very web, dear. ’ ’

“AleohfQ? We’ve not a drop trr. uoard!’ ’

Above Worry Level ‘‘Darling, why do you wish be M married in an aeroplane?” “Because 1 once swore never to marry any man on. earth.—and J won't go back on my word.” ❖ <®» ❖ No Chicken. Customer: “What do you wean sending me such a tough fowl?” Butcher; ‘‘Why, my good man, do you happen to know that that bird has won first prizes in all the local poultry shows for the last, five years?” <s> ■s• Elastic Investment ‘‘Curious thing about that chap over there. He knew’ nothing about rubber, invested his savings in the stuff, became rich within six months and was able to marry the girl of his heart. All out of rubber, and now—” ‘‘And now?” ‘‘They’ve a bouncing boy!”

The Modest Model.

Over the Gate. ‘‘Do you know,” said the student oi the agricultural college to an old farmer, “your methods of cultivation are 100 years behind the times? “Why,” he went on, looking around him, “I’d be surprised if you made £lO out of the oats in that field.” “So w’ould I,” said the farmer, “seein’ as how it’s barley.” > A Limit A new minister was about to preach his first sermon in a Scottish church, and the beadle asked him: “Are you a ‘paper’ minister?” The clergyman replied that he usual ly read his discourse. “Oh-, that’s richt, then. AVhen a man has a paper we ken that he’ll end where the paper ends.”

I he young couple who delayed their wedding until they had the to marry.

How Romantic! Young Husband: “I didn’t marry you for your money, you know; rather in spite of it. Money doesn’t make happiness; in fact, tho less money the more happiness!” Young Wife: “Then, darling, we shall be wonderfully happy. I have heard that daddy went bankrupt yesterday • ’ ’