HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 158, 9 July 1935, Page 10

HUMOUR

Ambiguous. “I’ve a. suit for every day in the' week.” “Let me see them.* “This is it that I have oo.” <S> Naturally. Chief Petty Officer: The enemy are thick as peas. What shall we do? Captains Shell ’em; shell em! <£❖«><» The Law’s Chase. •*hs there any man more keenly •ought after than the really honest financier 1” an essayist wants to know. The really dishonest one. <s> «3> <S> > Not Diplomatic. Teacher; Robert, if you an' always Very kind and polite to all your playmates, what will they think of you? Robert: Some of ’em would think they could lick me!

•‘You will take a. long cruise on the ocean.

Which Explains It. •There was a fearful tiro in a London warehouse —the keeper of the lightship in Dover cuuld see the flames.” 6 ‘lmpossible! ’ ’ **Not at all—he was on a day excursion to London.” # Quite Original. •Did anyone ever tell you huw wonderful you are? ” “Don’t believe they ever did.” ••Then where’d you get the idea?” & Heavenly Twins. The potential customer eyed the •hrubs displayed on the market gardener’s stall very careful. “Is that laurel?” he inquired. '•Aye,” was the gardener’s reply, ’•and hardy 1”

Darling, you’re looking much better to-day.”

6, The Little Less. The guests at a dinner party were being bored by a snob with a loub voice who wanted everybody to know that his family belonged to aristocracy. At last an old man asked him what he meant by aristocracy. “Well,” replied the snob, “I shout’d describe the aristocracy, as those who do not work for their living.” “Yo® surprise me,” said the old man. “I thought people like that were called tramps. ’ ’ <s> <•> > On The Shelf. According to a lecturer, the girl who, tvhen contemplating matrimony, applies a series of searching mental tests ‘o the young man, is quite right. Or left, •s the case may be.

44 Ninepence for being rowed to the •ther side? I only paid sixpence last |inw! ” “Yes, but the lido has risen since kuadaml”

After the Party A number of spirited pals were re turning in the small hours of the morn iag after a highly successful dinner. Presently they cauie to a standstill opposite a certain house, and a lively Jiscussion commenced. Finally, one <»l the revellers I humped on the front door •mil a window above was thrust upoji •nd a forbidding woman lookek out. “Padon, ma’ina,” and the spokesman uncertainly, ‘‘but arc you Mrs. Brown ? ’ ’ 4 ‘Yes, I am,” she snapped. '‘Good,” said the reveller. ‘•Will you be so kind as to r<une down and pick out Mr Brown.’ The j<-iuf us want to go home.”