Vanity Fair

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 73, Issue 346, 18 August 1930, Page 3

Vanity Fair

" Chronicle ” Office Wanganui, August 18, 1930. Margot is for ever free of the foolish tradition that one ought to be kind to animals; she wouldn’t go so far as to say that one should invariably kick or beat them, but certainly, to be demonstrative in one’s dealings with them is a mistake. Witness the conduct rf the Bounder. Recently in London vas held a dog show at which was offered a special prize for the dog showing the least resemblance to any known breed. Well, on good authority, if the Bounder had been in London at that time, he could have won the award on his ear. A large, floppy, spotty ear, it is, coupled with a tai, of no mean length but hideous nakedness, splay paws, a large smile and cn altogether misleading look of intelligence in the brown eyes. Margot s error of judgment lay in patting the Bounder. His owner turned pale and said hastily, Look here, for Heaven s sake, leave that thing alone. It lives at our house, because three attempts to poison it have only lost our best Persian cat and a prize Angora rabbit belonging to the woman next door. But we know better than to encourage ,t in any Way. A girl who took dinner with us one day was stupid and untruthful—enough to call it good dog, an d it jumped up at once and upset a whole basin of jelly and custard over her frock- You take the advice of one who knows, and stand away from under. Thanks for the tip, said Margot hastily, and thereafter ignored the Bounder. But it was all too late. She hadn I gone twenty yards down the ro a d before, glancing back, sbe beheld the Bounder following her in disarmingly leisurely fashion. “Dog,” said Margot, persuasively, “go home.” Much encouraged, the Bounder leapt upward and attempted io plant his paws on Margot’s shoulders. They were exceptionally large and muddy paws, and Margot had on one of those white cloth costumes which can be worn, with luck, five times before they have to be dry cleaned. The result was painful, even for the Bounder, for Margot smote him with her shoe. However, after a moment or two of reproach, he seemed to take it for granted that she meant it in fun, and that allowances should be made for feminine clumsiness For two solid miles the procession continued, and Margot was nearing the streets of the great city. Her intention was to do a little shopping and then go home by tram; and somehow the Bounder must have suspected this, for no sooner were the crowded portions of the earth reached than he sat down on the pavement, and howled piteously. A lady who was probably a committee member of the 3.P.C.A. looked at Margot with suspicion in her eye. “In the first place," said Margot aggressively, “what you see in front of you is not my dog, or attempt at a dog. In the second place, I haven’t done anything io it.” Nobody said you had,” replied the lady, with meaning emphasis, "I just thought it was funny that it should start to howl like that, all of a sudden. Poor doggy!” Co on,” Margot urged, suddenly hopeful. “Pat him. He revels in it.” But the lady, with a glance like a hatpin, moved on. “Well," said Margot to the Bounder, “I’d like to /(now what we’re supposed to do next, and how long you meant to keep that up.” “Want to go home,” stated the Bounder, as plainly as ever a dog can, and smiling broadly through his tears. ’ And I," replied Margot, "want to shop." The Bounder howled again. “However,” Margot said hurriedly, “we will go home.” “Here, Miss,” declared the tram conductor, firmly. “You can’t take this on the tram car.” Two miles’ tramp, and no shopping done. And then the Bounder’s legal owner said coldly, "So you've brought him home. Well, I thought better of you. 1 thought you were neighbourly." If ever Margot grows rich, she is going to start a special benefit fund for dog-catchers. Bitterly, MARGOT.