QUIPS

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume LXXXIII, Issue 19983, 28 October 1927, Page 2

QUIPS

Un HiQbtcc JDooJ) ... “jack point"

g To My Readers, — § The next competition I have g 1 chosen for yon will be: 3 “ How did you get your job?” S g s What I want you to do is: F ■ tell me if, in securing a posi- * | a tion, you secured it through ® a strange set of circumstances. Was I 1 it something that happened which . eventually brought you in contact * I with the vacancy? h For instance, I will tell you one I ■ of my own experiences: One day 1 ■ a marched up to the editorial sanctum ■ fl of a newspaper. I comntonced to read 3 ■ a poem that I had composed. When B " I came too, I was lying near the " . spot where I had entered the build E I ing a few moments previously. I 1 « v/ent back again. The Editor giu g * mo a position on the reporting stiff. | The usual half-crown will bo ■ given for the best entry. Your ■ b effort must not reach me later than ■ g Wednesday, November 2. Address | Lail answers to “Jack Point,” “Wa- ■ | nganui Chronicle,” Wanganui. B

Woman didn’t have to wait till she got the vote to become speaker of the house. A writer says, “Modesty reigned with Queen Victoria.” But it looks as if it ain’t going to reign no more. A writer in a contemporary says: “Boys are better at arithmetic than girls.” Well, girls get much practice at the rapid manipulation of figures. A doctor says, “A man’s will is only one-fifth developed.” Maybe because his won’t is over-developed. Short skirts have disposed of the clinging vine type of girl. There is self-reliance in every stride. “Will burying a black cat in the churchyard at mid-night do away with warts?” asks a writer. Yes, if they are on the cat. A writer asks, “Have you noticed how many girls mysteriously disappear these days?” That’s what comes from advertising those vanishing creams. Modern girls are still fond of nice clothes, but they are not entirely wrapped up in them. A newspaper states: All tho felt in a piano has been devoured by moth. •‘Jack Point” hopes that a moth like that finds its way into the piano next door to his place. An overseas contemporary reports the Duchess of Atholl as having said, “I had to do a lot of darning when I was young.” Well, she might have said worse. “Dancing has reached its darkest depths,” says a teacher. Blackbottom. “Jack Point” thinks that the motorist who uses balloon tyres because they are so much easier on the pedestrians, a very thoughtful person. A newspaper reports a doctor with saying, “I cannot keep rats alive without Vitamin B.” His seems a strange ambition, anyway. “A man may sing about his ‘Honey,’ but it does not follow that he has a bee in his bonnet. ’ ’ A newspaper states: A plumber recently slipped and broke his leg. True to his calling he is mending slowly. “Jack Point” heard of a telephone operator who expected a fortune from 1 her rich uncle, but has been cut off. I A contemporary states: A bushman i has chopped down twelve trees in ono hour. Seems he’s a jolly good feller. A pedestrian is usually a person, who has bought a second-hand car. “Jack Point” thinks that the greyhound instead of chasing the electric hare, ran straight over to the judge, sat up and begged, must have beeii “trying it on.” I A critic says, “Girls invariably 'think of their complexions first.” Well, have to do this to make them last. There’s one thing about driving on a slippery road, you don’t have to worry about who will care for you in your old age. A newspaper states: A woman who lost her thumb in a motor accident is suing for £45,000 damages. Must have been the one she kept her husband under. Modern girls never take a back seat, except, perhaps, on the pillion. A contemporary states: “The management of the hotels assures its guests that they will be accorded a hearty ‘deception.’ ” Is this commercial candour? A thing of beauty may annoy for ever. A jockey declares that he thinks no more of riding in a big race than he does of eating his lunch. They are both merely a matter of course. “Jack Point” thinks that the meanest man he knows of, is the one who boiled his blotting pad to save the ink. A newspaper states: A man appeared before a magistrate with his head in bandages. He stated that when he complained about his wife’s cooking she threw a plate at him. It is said’that his wife denied this, but said that she only threw the cake. From an Ad.—“ Bed, part board, moderate.” Yes, that’s what made “Jack Point” leave the last place, it was all board. “It often happens,” says a doctor, “that a man who is a lunatic is entirely ignorant of the fact.” Unless, of course, he happens to be married. Any time your telephone does not work, ring up information, and report the matter. From a novel: Ten o’clock. An hour stole by. She looked at the clock. Eleven fifteen. She stifled a sob. Very annoying, those cheap docks that will go so fast. Many a wife is willing to mend her husband’s ways, but makes him darn his own socks. There seems to be no truth in the rumour that a yachtsman, who was becalmed near Wanganui sent for a money-lender to raise the wind. If half the world doesn’t know how the other half lives—it’s not for the want of trying. A girl pastor in America announced that she would continue to preach after getting married. That’s nothing, most of them do.