COST OF LIVING

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume LXXXIII, Issue 19871, 20 June 1927, Page 12

COST OF LIVING

ALSO OF DYING INCIDENCE OF TAXATION. MRS ’ARRIS ON THE BUDGET. (By C. B. Poultney.) Well! well! (remarked Mrs ’Arris), ’ere we are round agen, for the fust and probably last time this year, at Easter time, and in less than nine munce it’ll be Christmas and we’ll ’ave to start buying presents agen; ain’t it orful to think of? Wot a expensive thing life is, when you comes to think of it; nothink to do while you’re ’ere but pay up and look present, in a manner of speaking. Why, when one comes to think of it, almost the fust words they says to you as a baby is “Buy, buy,” and when you passes out they says “Buy, buy”

as well, and you ’ave to spend the time in between doing it, so it’s ’ardly to be wondered at that the only time you’re well off is when you’re right off, is it? Ev’ry year they tells you that the cost of living is coming down, but the only way it docs it is by dropping on us ’cavier than before, so you don’t get much satisfaction out of that, do you? Why, it even says in the paper that Christmas cards is going to be dearer—nothink like being cheerful in advance, is there? —owing to the noo Budgit of Mr Churchill’s. Ah! they may well call ’im the Cancelior of the Exchequer —mine, for one, looks like being cancelled altogether for good. For instance, I sees as matches is to be dearer soon, which means they’ll be more difficulter to borrer than ever. Smart Resignation. But as regards this ’ere Budgit, I’m glad to see as pottery is to be safeguarded, cos it’s pore fragile stuff at the best, and —as I knows only too well, through being in service in the past — liable to crack at a single look. In fac’, looking back on things, I only remember one cup as didn’t break when I dropped it, and that was only bccos I dropped it in a elderly lady’s lap. As a mater of truth, it was my then mistress wot owned the lap in question, and the tea was very ’ofc, and—well, it was only the fac’ that I give me notis in while the cup was in midair that saved ’er giving me the sack. But wot this “translucent or vitrified ’ ’ variety of pottery which I read of in the paper is passes my eomprehenshion. We never ’ad that sort in my time, I’m glad to say; only the usual old-fashioned transparent or petrified — but it broke just as easy. By the way, I wish I knoo exactly •'OO was going to do the protecting, cos I I gottcr couple of flower-pots on the 1 winder ledge, and I feel sure the cat’ll ; knock ’em off sooner or later, if isom’body don’t watch ’em. I wonder I if I ought to write to Mr Churchill pus- | son ally ? Parrots and Other Loud-speakers ■ But, I say, ain’t it a pity they can’t j tax rain? I can’t think, pussonally, j ’ow it can keep on and on like it do. llt’s getting most mountinous. i Of course, it’s easy to critikise, but lit do seem there’s a lot of things that j might be taxed wot ain’t. Take |bicicles, for instance; say they taxed I ’em so much a wheel, that ’orrid i butcher boy wot shoved me in the back i I with the front wheel’d be sorry ’e j spoke. Besides, I can’t ride mcself, ■ anyway! Then there’s parrots. You ’ave to pay for a loudspeaker, so why not a parrot? I don’t like the things at all. I just said “Scratchapole” to Mrs Smallbean’s — that being a remark wot parrots is supposed to take great pleasure in, though goodness knows why—and it got me thumb like litening. Tax the things, that’s wot I say. And-ther’s other things I could suggest, too. For instance, wot about this ’airless craze? Supposing everybody ’ad o pay a tax for being shingled; why pretty near every female ’ave to fork out —excep’ me! So why not tax short 'air? Or, even better still, now I comes to think of it, why not do away with taxes altogether, and then there’d be no need for tax collectors, or Budgits—cr even Cancellers of the Exchequerses —.and if that wouldn’t be a saving, well, I don’t know wot would, that’s all. And I ’ope you’ll ’ave a ’appy Easter! ____________