A “SOCIAL PEST"

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume LXXXIII, Issue 19831, 4 May 1927, Page 3

A “SOCIAL PEST"

THE ART OF THE BORE RULES TO BE DISOBEYED “I should prefer to be called a hypocrite, a fool, or a knave, rather than a bore. I have tried, for my own guidance, to tabulate a few general rules to avoid catching a disease that is, alas, contagious” says a writer in the Atlantic Monthly. “The first essential 'is to talk too little rather than too much. {Second, avoid detail. A sketch may be crude, inaccurate, and badly executed, but it is not boring. Cromwell’s ‘wart and all’ theory should never be applied in conversation in which the quality of selection is of its very essence. Third, if you must tell a story —and please don’t do so if you can help it —never imitate the mannerisms or intonations of the people you are describing. “Fourthly, look interested, and, if possible, be interested in what other people say. Do not let your eyes or your attention wander. A good listener is never a bore. We cannot all handle foils with skill, but we can all toss back the conversational ball when it is thrown at us, and it should be tossed back lightly —not hurled in the face of our opponent, who should be regarded as a partner in the social game rather than as an antagonist. “For those w'ho like positive and affirmative rules, I append the recipe for making a bore’s head. | “Take a mass unleavened egotism. Chop a cupful of trite conversational chestnuts into small pieces, shells and all. Add a quart of dry facts, from which the juice of humour has been extracted, and a cupful of dates, stuffed with statistics. Stir in—very—slowly—■ a pint of .personal anecdote from which all imagination has been strained. “Flavour with the essence of complete indifference to anybody’s taste but your own. “Pour into a mould stamped with your own image, and turn on to a platter garnished with plenty of thyme. “This dish has frequently appeared at social functions of the Rich and Great. “I have given you the rules—it is for you to avoid following them.”