THE SEAMY SIDE

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume LXXXIII, Issue 19766, 14 February 1927, Page 5

THE SEAMY SIDE

TALES TO MAGISTRATE ST ASTS 'XMAS TOO SOON. (By R. E. Corder in the London Daily Mail) Bridget, an Irish, cook, decided to | spend Christmas in Dublin, and with her ticket and savings in her pocket she drove away in a taxicab from her employer's house —and arrived in the dock at Marylebone Court. A sympathetic constable who found her lying on the pavement helplessly drunk recited a sad chapter of laccid- ! ants. I “She began to celebrate her holiday too early," he told Mr Bingley, the magistrate, “and being fascinated with the taxicab ride she drove to different public-houses, and then, visiting her niece, fell down the area steps and hurt her arm. “I’ve got her ticket and 10s in money —all she had left. The doctor who examined her arm this morning said it ought to be X-rlayed.’’ “Ah, not at all,’’ said Bridget cheerfully “ It’s going straight to Dublin I am, this very night.’’ “And what about your arm?’’ inquired Mr Bingley. “Me arm, is it? And won’t that be set right in Dublin?’’ “Off you go,’’ said the magistrate, overlooking the doctor’s fee, “and see you don’t fall down some more area steps and damage the other arm.’’ “Whisky is at pre-war strength in Dublin,’’ murmured the clerk. • • • • An officer applied on behialf of F Division of the Metropolitan Police for an extension of hours to sell intoxicants on the occasion of a Christmas dance. “Any objection from the police?’’ inquired Mr Bingley automatically; and then hastily added, “No, I suppose not. ’ ’ The Christmas spirit overflowed in court, and the magistrate urged warring landlords &nd tenants to cease their quarrels and enjoy the festive season in peace and amity. With a true Dickens touch he prevailed upon half a dozen angry landlords and the same number of still more angry tenants to forget their differences for at least a week, and so infectious was his cheerful mood that I am sure if there had been a bunch of mistletoe over the court door landlords and tenants wculd have kissed tind made friends in la sentimental truce. • * • • A worried woman who had five shares in a Christmas club complained that her five shtares brought her only £3 17s 4d, instead of £5 17s 4d, the £2 being deducted on account of a debt owed by her husband. “Oh, these diddlem clubs!’’ sighed the magistrate, advising the woman to go to the county court. “The papers are full of reports of absconding secretaries, but the more money is lost the more is supplied to go the siame way.’’ “He was having an altercation with another man,’’ said a constable alluding to ia robust navvy w’ho nearly filled the dock. “ Altercation? ’ ’ queried Mr Bingley. “A heated argument,’’ defined the constable, who really meant a row. “I have no fault with the word, though some magistrates do not like it,’’ observed .Mr Bingley, “but what I want to know is. Wias it fisticuffs or merely words?’’ “Words and hands,’’ said the officer. “I had left the drink alone for two years, ’ ’ wailed the navvy, ‘ ‘ but Christmas was too much for me.’’ “That’s right,’’ agreed the gtioler, examining his records. “It is exactly two years since he was hero before.’’ As the doctor had to be called to convince the navvy that he was drunk

the magistrate charged the fee of 10s 6d, and still under the influence of Christmas took the navvy’s word that he would pay later. j Percy protested he was not the man i who had so far forgot his manners (at a I coffee-stall as to hit one of the other I customers over the head with a tealcup. ■ “My young lady is too ill to give evidence,” explained the prosecutor, who persisted that Percy was the man; land another squabble was postponed over Christmas. * * * ♦ Bernard Smith, a labourer who does not often labour, ought to be grateful ' ( I to the Christmas spirit. ' Charged with having obtained unemployment insurance payment on behalf . J of his detid daughter, he pleaded guilty, ’ i and had nothing to say. ’1 A detective was not so reticent. : Smith, he said, had been sentenced at ' i the March Petty Sessions in 1920 for f i stealing a coat. In 1921 he joined the i Navy, but after 18 months he wtas dis--3 charged with a bad character. He next joined three regiments in three different names, and his longest service in the Army was 50 days. His » military career ended with 28 days’ de- | tention for enlisting under la false 1 name. 3 He had been married for four years, ! but he had supported his wife for only z six months. r Mr Bingley, with the influence of j 'Christmas strong upon him imposed a -> 'fine of 40s or 21 days.