DOMESTIC LIFE IN FRANCE

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume LXXXI, Issue 19197, 27 December 1924, Page 11

DOMESTIC LIFE IN FRANCE

BY

FREDERIC STUBBS,

F.R.G.S,

(AU Rights Reserved.) As a rule the tourist sees little or nothing of French domestic life. I myself visited France several times before I saw the inside of a private, house, and it was not until 1922 that I became intimate with a French family, i The fact is, the Frenchman, like the German, seldom asks a visitor to his home. If he wishes to show him hospitality he invites him to a restaurant j or cafe. The French are decidedly less hospitable than the British, and the Frenchman’s home much more jealously guarded. If a foreigner is asked to dine and spend the evening “en famille,” he may justly take it as a very great compliment. We sometimes complain, not without reason, of the decline of British hospitality, but our hospitality, especially in the Dominions, is lavish compared with what one meets in France, Belgium, and some other European countries. In Germany your acquaintance does not ask you to his home, but will probably propose a visit to a beer-garden. On the whole, however, he is more hospitable and decidedly more liberal than the Frenchman. AMUSING STORY. I heard an amusing story of an Australian visitor to Paris who went to get his hair cut. He knew nothing of the language, but had become familiar with the most common of French words, the affirmitive ,“Oui,” consequently when the hairdresser spoke to him —although he did not understand what was said—he replied as he had heard others do, ‘Oui, oui!” When at length he got out of the barber’s chair, he was somewhat surprised to have a parcel of pomades presented to him along with a bill for fourteen francs. The fact is the hairdresser had been inquiring whether he would like some hair-restorer, pomade, etc., to which he had innocently replied “yes.” I myself had a somewhat similar experience on my first visit to Paris thirty years ago. After a good passage across the Channel, I arrived in the French capital in excellent spirits, excited by the anticipation of the delights of the City, and having deposited my luggage at my hotel, entered a fashionable hairdresser’s. I was in a reckless mood, and not satisfied with the usual shave and haircut, had my hair singed and shampooed. Having some knowledge of the French language I could not blame the hairdresser, but at the close of the performance I found myself mulcted in nearly as large a sum as my Australian friend. Some of us would get on better with, the French language if the Frenchman—and especially the French women—did not talk quite as rapidly. I wonder if foreigners really do talk more rapidly than we do, or whether it only seems sol It certainly seems so, and fo my part I find it impossible to follow them unless they put the break on. One of the sentences most frequently on my lips when in France is “Parlez vous plus lentement, s’il vous plait” (speak more slowly if you please). THE FRENCHMAN’S HOME. But when you have once secured the entree to a Frenchman’s home, the experience is delightful. Such politeness! With that grace will Monsieur or Madame conduct you to a seat, saying nice things all the time. Politeness may be but a veneer. I don’t claim that the politeness of a Frenchman or a German, a Chinese or a Japanese expresses any more kindness of heart than the British, but it is certainly more in evidence, and it makes the machinery of daily intercourse to run a little more smoothly. Though the French are not as hospitable as we are, they are more sociable; hate to be alone; love the society of their fellows; talk freely and loudly with many gesticulations; talk freely even in cafes, without previous introduction. They are much less reserved. It is amazing, indeed, how intimate conversation may become, say at the breakfast table. A French lady, e.g., will speak of matters of the toilette, or tell you what medicine she took and describe its physical effects, without the slightest embarrassment. It is only the foreigner that is embarrassed. The fact is the British and American peoples are more fastidious in regard to such matters than most other peoples. I think we are right and they are wrong, but we must be careful not to judge the foreigner by our own conventions. The furniture in a Frenchman’s home is different from ours. As a rule (I speak only of middle-class homes) it has appeared to me heavier and more substantial, like that of a middle-class house sixty years ago, whilst the decorations of the walls, ceilings, and draperies are more elaborate. The French are especially fond of the lavish use of gold. PARENTS AND CHILDREN. I have already remarked on the closeness of the tie which bind the various members of the family together. The respect and affection of children—big as well as little —for their parents is great and abiding. The bereaved will not appear at places of amusement for many months; anniversaries are solemnly kept; graves periodically visited. The family will support and defend a member who is in trouble even when he is in the wrong. As a rule, neither son nor daughter will think of marrying without the parents’ consent. The mother’s influence with the grown-up children is greater than with us. And the influence and interest of the family follows a man to the end of his days. FRENCH SERVANTS. The position of the servants in the household would be considered by most as inferior to ours. They work harder; live anyhow; will do anything; will eat their food either sitting or—as I have often seen them—standing all the time. Their sleeping accommodation is inferior. On the other hand they are treated with much more freedom and familiarity—more Ijke humble friends of the family than mere servitors. They talk freely to the mistress, are consulted by her, advise her, interest themselves in the welfare and prosprity of the whole family, as I am sorry to say few British servants would now do or be expected to do. If you are a visitor, the attitude of the French domestic is •ess stiff, more friendly. THE FRENCH WOMAN. The Frenchwoman is good-looking and rather more piquante than the English. At one time she paid a good deal more attention to dress, though that would hardly be possible to-day. But even now her clothes seem to hang on her more gracefully, and her movements are more graceful. I really think the has rather more taste in such matters. Her expression, too, is brighter, more vivacious, more varied—though one does not like to admit it. But she is less healthy and fresh-looking than the English girl, and not as good a “pal.” bhe is rarely a blond, has dark-browm hair, expressive eyes, black hair, good teeth, and uses rather more powder and paint than our ladies. Some of the finest specimens of womanhood are to be seen in shops and restaurants. Marriage is based chiefly on finance and is arranged with a view to future bread and butter. Every girl has a dowry. Even the young girl will know how much it is and discuss her chances of matrimony quite freely. There is seldom any question as who is to be the master of the house! Marriages are arranged by the parents. Sweethearting as we know it does not exist in France. Yet the French marriages probably turn out, on the average, quite as well as ours. As the French say:— “Plaiser d’amour dur un moment, Le chagrin d’amour toute la vie.” (The pleasures of love endure a moment. The troubles of love all the life.) The French girl has a much more restricted life than the British, so that she increases her liberty by marriage, whilst the British loses much of hers. When the Frenchwoman gets married, it is said, her good time begins; in the case of the Englishwoman I am afraid it sometimes ends. THRIFTINESS. I have left myself little space to speak of the thriftineas of the French people. This is so excessive as tn almost become a vice. I must be careful in the choice of a term, but I should say that they are less liberal than most other peoples. No matter how poor the peasant, he saves money, and the same may be said of the domestic. Their industry is untiring. You may see a whole family stooping at their work in the fields even on Sunday. tenth man is a land-owner. If a young fellow is inclined to be a spendthrift his nearest relations may invoke the law to take the control of his money out of his hands. The French have some national traits not beautiful; all nations have. But in the cohesion of the family, and the closeness of the ties which bind the members together, in their cheerfulness and politeness, their industry and thrift, their charm of person and manner, they are altogther admirable.