THAT WORD TEETOTAL.

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume L, Issue 12145, 29 August 1908, Page 2

THAT WORD TEETOTAL.

Speaking of whisky and the premature death of my Tasmanian friend, I am reminded that all sorts of erroneous ideas obtain in this country as to the origin or etymology of the word "teetotal. I heard one gentleman in Dunedin aver that it came from teatotal : e.g., nothing but tea. That idea is .quite wrong. Just the other day a man in Wellington informed me that it came from t-totaL, "t" in this case standing for „ "temperance." Wrong again. The ward originated very simply, as a matter of fact, and had at the outset no connection at all with abstinence from alcohol. The word was used in the first total-abstinence pledge in the earliest days of the movement at Preston, being suggested by a workingman named Richard Turner. "Teetotal" had for long had currency in the local idiom. The "tee" stood for the doubling of the initial letter of "total," and was used to expre:s special emphasis or force. Emphatic words like "teetotal" and "tee-totally" were common in the West country at least' as far back as. 1780. In those days what we know as the Teetotal Movement had barely been dreamed of. Learned precisions are for ever labouring to find obscure or devious origins for simple words and, phrases. There was a learned authority on aboriginal derivatives. * He used to write intricate and pleasing essays in the "Queenslander " and one week traced the origin of the name of the suburb of Meander to its aboriginal sources. He did it very ingeniously, and the essay was really quite improving. Unhappily, in the next issue and old gentleman who had been on the original ~town-board of the place wrote to say that when they had to decide on a name they wei-e logged for a good while. Then one inspired person remarked that as the creek meandered through the township, they might as well call the township Meander. Carried unanimously. POST OFFICE CONVENIENCES. Wisdom, it seems, is still occasionally justified of her children. Over and over again, I Have pointed out the foolishness of closing the General Post Office in the capital at five o'clock in the afternoon. The Postmaster-General must have been reading the newspapers, for the fiat has gone forth (1' think that is the proper newspaper phrase) that after September Ist the office shall be .open daily till, eight in the evening. So at length shall a very stupid state of things' be remedied. Under the existing system the public is subjected to absurd inconvenience and 5 annoyance. Most of the shops close early, and few of the shops keep stamps. The other night I wanted to catch an outgoing mail. I- happened not to have a stamp. Neither of the newspaper offices could oblige me: they don't keep them. None of the chemists had any.

1 wandered disconsolately round for quite a time. I tacklecl pedestrians by the score. Some of them were amused and some insulted. One young bloold was plainly shocked at the idea of carrying anything that might spoil his shape. Outside the Post Office, I accosted my thirty-first pedestrian. Ho was not walking at the moment. This ! is a city of threatened earthquake, and he was -patriotically engaged in propping up the G.P.O. "Could you," I said, '"could you oblige me with a stamp?" "I am desh'lated ' said he, "I couldn't if I would, and I wouldn't if I cou'.'l'm not licensed. Ish against th' law. Ish prohibitish. I'm a lawyer, 'n a pro-probishnish." I sympathised with him, and asked him where he worked. His dignity wa» at once assaulted. He said ho didn't work: he practised. He released the imposing pile for a moment while he waved ges^ ticulating arms and spoke a piece "Novella, a young Bolognese, The daughter of a learned lawdoctor Who had with all the subtleties Of old and modern jurists stock'd her, Was so exceeding fair 'tis said. And over hearts held such dominion, And when her father, sick in bed, Qfebusv. sent' her in his stead, To lecture on the code Justinian, She had a curtain drawn before her, Lest, if her charms were seen, the students - Should let their young eyes wander o'er her, And quite forget their jurisprudence." I do not attempt to reproduce his accent, which was earthquaky; but he assured me that he loved the lady because he wasin that class. And that ho said, was why he could not sell me a stamp after'sunset, though he was iully determined to buy me a drink. I did not want a drink, and he was sensibly perturbed by my unusual foolishness. But his flavour was eighteenth century, and I was sorry to leave him. -unthe wharf I met a Salvation lassie Could you,"-1 said, "could you oblige me with a' stamn?" She breathed meekly into my eyes, and said she couldn't • would, a "Wiar Cry" do? I said it wouldn t, and so left her pondering under the wiso of moon. 'On three ships I could get no stamp, but on each I was offered whisky; and so began to regain my faith in human nature. A policeman on the Quay told me that he knew a bloke at Karori as might have a stamp :he was just one o' them blokes as would. But I filed Karori as a last hope, and tried seven largo hotels and a fish-shop. Then a bright thought struck me. I took a , cab to the Parliamentary Library, and there won my desire * I always said that the Parliamentary Library* was a useful Institution. I 'missed the mail. But that is a point apart. THE GRATUITOUS GAG. What struck me as a queer thing happened in the House of Representatives the other evening. On the Edti-

mates, the Chairman of Committees (Mr MeKeime) desired to address the Committee on the Mines Department vote. Accordingly, Mr Davey took tho chair. Mr Herries objected that the Chairman must preside whenever he was on the floor of the House. Mr Davcy supported the objection, on the ground of a ruling last year, and Mr McKenzie reluctantly wont back to the chair. Now, it is'at least possible that Mr McKenzi3 might havo hail something useful to say on tho vote, aid I am quite at a loss to understand why he was not allowed to say it. In Australian Parliaments, over and over again, I have seen the Chairman of Committees hand over the chair to his deputy when he has desired to address the Committee. I havo seen the Speaker do the same thing in the House. Why not? "What earthly good is served by gagging these officers? They have to forfeit their votes in any case • why should they be compelled to forfeit their influence? Some honour and glory (and some emolument: but who cares for that!) attaches to these position; but what of the constituents of the gentleman who fill them? It seems o be about the silliest application of the gag that one could well conceive. These respectable conventions of Parliament should he applied with discretion and relaxed when necessary. There is nothing else on earth so stupid as a respectable convention, whenever it is treated as a law of the Medes and Persians. Of course I know that respectability is a sort of religion. Indeed, in some cases it has apparently eclipsed religion. In our grateful memories of Queen Victoria, we shall neverforget that she was the most respecable woman on earth. There is the reasonably well authenticated story of the court lady who desired to ingratiate herself with nious Majesty. "Oh, Madam, how ~ delightful it will be in Heaven to see the prophets and saints of the r>ast; to see Abraham and Moses and Elijah and David!" "No. no," snapped. the Queen emphatically "nobody will ever persuade me to know David!" THE POOR WEDDED. The Hon. J. Ban; may >et be heard of as a philanthropist. What could be more humane than the intention at the back of his motion now being debated in the Legislative Council P^Coneider it: "TJi^tj in the opinion of this ! Council, it is in the best interest of this country that the Government should take into their immediate consideration the devising of some further practical measures whereby the heavy cost of living at present borne by the married workers as compared with the unmarried may be lessoned, and that the position of those with families be especially considered, so that the rearing of their children may be looked forward to with leas anxiety than at present, and parenthood /thereby encouraged." It is more than excellent: it is idyllic. It breathes a spirit of sweet confidence and a very gentle faith. Unfortunately, it does not seem that it will affect much, oven it passes into a resolution of the venerable half of Parliament. It is so easy to talk of differential treatment of honest citizens with large families, and so difficult to arrange it. And much as I rejoice with all fruitful and industrious souls. I'm not at all sure that any special legislation to relieve them from the results of their welldoing would be just. I think, in short, that when a man has a large family the responsibility of the family rests upon his own shoulders. Where any man has a larger family than he can support with decency, his sense of responsibility' is deficient or his conscience ;el?stap,7 l^and':\he.'\,?neri lts-Its-:"rebuke.- rather thaii "the^ariplauseof> legislators. In, £hp?t, the cry. for •>, population at any price iSijrath^overdbwe^iglt\is one' thing iV>r president fiob^yelt,^witli Vwealth. and ; jx>srtioja^ to give thanksifor Bhjs iume^^rood■■«, Mtgut the cas£of :1a struggling;:;^artisajii ijthfe thankf ulnfess is "by? vn^grrieahs^o apparent. Lthihk that a man : d6es the state " and y the'world far greater service by bringing ur> two children well-than by dragging up: ten children akyhow. T have ..you see, an obstinate idea that life- owes parents something. ; Meantime, the Hon. Mr Anstey's suggestion that school-books should be supplied free is exceedingly sound and practical. The sta+e insists that every man shall , educate his children, and on that provides State schools to give the children a sort of education. The man with one child at school has to pay a reasonable amount for school-books; hut the man with six children, having regard to his means and circumstances, may have to pay a quite unreasonable amount. Thus we find, not only that our educa-tion-system is not a system of free education, but also that its charges press most harshly on the citizens least prepared to meet them. Books are a big item of account in education. If a, boy is not provided with books, and kept to them, he may shine with a subdued light., as that bright boy of Sydney shone when he said that the parts of speech were noun, adjective, pronoun, verb, adverb, preposition, consumption, and indigestion. This thing actually occurred, arid it says something for the enunciation of s'hool teachers.