Page 1 Advertisements Column 1

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume XXXIII, Issue 11332, 29 July 1891, Page 1

MISCELLANEOUS. THE OKAXOii. &TBB following is the peroration of a grand Effort made by a stump speaker desirous of Representing his fellojy-citizens in Congress. It is grand, lofty, stupendous: — "Time is Critical, blood's gohv' to be poured out like ' ' jfoapsuds outen a wagli tub, and every man that's got a soul as bi<; as the white of a nigger's eye '11 fiteftbleed, and .die for his Country. Them's the times — you want men In the councils of the nation that you can flepend on — that's nic! Klact me to Congress, and I'll stick to you through thick and thin like a lean tick to a nigger's shin ! I am not goin' to make a electioneerin 1 speech. I'd scorn the act. You know me •—l've been fotched up among ye : already upon the wings of toplifled imagination, I fancy I see you marchin' up. to the poles in solid phalanx, and with shouts that" make the ear ring, ' Hurrah for Jim Smith,' come down on my opponent like a thousand o' brick on a rotten pumpkin." A FISHMONGER'S ADVICE. fAw anecdote worth laughing over is told bf a man who had an " infirmity" as well as an appetite for fish. He was paying his bill at his fishmonger's, and whilst the latter was making it receipted, with his back turned, the honest buyer slipped a codfis.h under his coattail. But the garments were too short to cover up the theft. " Now," said the customer, "Mr. Salmon, I have traded with you a good deal, and I have payed you up promptly, haven't I?" " Oh, yes," was the reply, "I make no complaint." "Well," said the customer, "I always Insisted that honesty was the best policy, and the best rule to live by and die by." " That's so,! 1 replied the fishmonger ; and the.custdmer turnedto depart. " Hold on, friend," said the fishmonger ; " speaking of honesty, I have a bit of advice to give you. Whenever you come here again you'd better wear a longer coat or steal a shorter fish." A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING. Some years ago a detachmenl of United States Artillery was stationed at. Hot Springs, Arkansas, to protect- the public property,- the Supreme Court having decided that the springs belonged to the United States. One day one of the detachment fell ill, and was ordered by the surgeon to j" take a hot bath, and drink the water" — meaning the su'.pliur-spring water. He went to one of the bath-houses, where a bath was prepared for him, and was left to enjoy the luxury. After the usual lime had elapsed, the attendant went in to see how .he was getting along. He found the soldier sitting on the edge of the tub, much swollen about the waist, and with the wal:r reduced about one half. The attendant asked him how he was getting along. The soldier replied, " Pretty well. I enjoyed the bath ; but," he added, and a look nf despondent determination settled upon his countenance, " I'll be hanged if 1 drink all that water, not even if they put me in the guard-house for it!" ■

SANDER & SONS' EUCALYPTI EXTRACT — Under the distinguished patronage of his Majesty the King of .Italy, as per communication made by the Minister for Foreign affairs through the Consul-General for Italy, at Melbourne 14th March, 1870. Awarded Diploma at . the Amsterdam Exhibition,lßß3. Acknowledged by Medical Clmics and Universities all over the Globe. • There are imitations of Eucalypti Extract in the market, products of simple distillation, forming crude resinous, oils. In order that these.crude oils may not be taken for our Pure Volatile Eucalypti Extract, which is recognised by.the mcd ical division of the Prussian Government to be of perfectly pure origin, as per information forwarded to U6 through the Consul at Melbourne, 2nd March 1878, we state : — It is proved by tests made by the Medical Clinics of the Universities at Bonn and Greifswald (Prussia), and reported by Dr Shulz, Professor of Pharmacology, J. Bonn, and Professor Dr Mosler, Director of the Medical Clinic at Greifswald, that only products that are saturated with oxygen and freed of acids, resinous and other substances,^a'dherent to primary distillation, will develop the sana tive qualities proper to the plant. All crude oils or so-called Eucalypti Extract are to be classed according to tbe Vaine authorities among the turpentines which are of insignificant medical value, and abandoned long since as an internamedicament. These crude oils, or so-called Eucalypti Extracts, are descernible— 1. By their deficiency in pungent odour (which our product, the only genuine Eucalypti Extract, develops most freely through its surplus of oxygen). 2. By tkeir alcoholic, thin and m->b appearance being reduced in spaj : density through the presence o acids. By- their taste, the result of the contracting tendency of resins and tanats. - ' If these crude oils, or so-called Eucalypti extracts are applied by mistake in case cases of croup, bronchitis, diptheria, internal croup, bronchitip. diptheria, internal inflammations, dysentry, &c, the consequences are most appalling For safety sake ask always for Sander and Sons' Eucalypti extract. — Sandhurst, "Victoria, Australia— SANDEß & sONS. THREE CENTURIES have rolled by since Bacon said " Coffee comforteth the brain and heart, and helpeth digestion " Use Cbeasb's A. I. Coffee. Sold only in lib and 21b tins

SJALM OP piILEAD BALM OP GILEAD, Is the unequalled Cough Remedy," as provedby so many last Winter in Wanganui. If you suffer from a Cough and -want a speedy and permanent Cure, call at NOSWORTH'YS Botanic Dispensary and get & bottle — price, 2a 6d. Once tried, always used. JAMES NOSWORTHY, MEDICAL HERBALIST, BOTANIC, HOMCEAPATHIC AND PATENT. MEDICINE VENDOR, (Opposite Siddle'a Fruit Shop, Ridgwayatrect), WANGANUI. /GOVERNMENT LIFeInSUKANCE *■* DEPARTMENT. iOANS ON MORTGAGE. From time to time a limited portion of the funds is lent on first mortpafio of finnli^ld lecurity, with option of repayuiuut by Jb.ud Instalments, spread over VI, l!>, ov 2C! years. Half-yearly Payment for each £100. Forlod of Loan— £ a. d. Twelve years „. ... 0 i 7 Fifteen years ... ... S 8 9 Twenty >oar 3 ... ... i 13 8 Ijoans repay jWe by instalments whereby principal and interest aro both lirj?.i;ia+c( within a Riven time, and on tonus of p, moS favourable character, present marked advar, tasos tc seitova ;nd otlu-ie. The borrower may, fci-fore th. exfh'y o\ the full period, redeem the losj., with oi without notice, ' on '.erri'.s which can lie ascertained at thisofiico,or at any "of the offices of this Department, whore also forma of ap plication can be obtained. For full particulars as to loans, apply to tbe Head and Brancb_OfJic&b aud Post OlLcoo J. H. RIG EARDSON Cj3ijii33ion9r