School Examinations.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XIX, Issue 1815, 2 April 1886, Page 3

School Examinations.

School examinations are, to a great extent, parrot like or mechanical performances. The master or mistress, as the case may be, gets to know by experience the nature of the questions likely to be put. anil upon these particular points the children arc ground up Jay after day, with little thought or c ire of their understanding. The result is curious. “ A famine in the land,” according to one bright youth, is what made the Tower of Pisa lean ; and 11 'cos the moon is so changin'” is the reason why it is of n different gender from the sou. The enquiry “ What comes next to man in the scale of being ? ” got for an answer “ his shirt.” A young student declared that " when food is swallowed, it passes through the windpipe,” and that the “ chyle flows up the middle of the backbone and reaches the heart, where it meets the oxygen and is purifie I.’’ Another says, " the work of the heart is to repair the different organs in about half a minute; while still another crammer comes to the conciasK'D that the organs of digestion are stomach, utensils, liver, and spleen.” The remarkable answers ou Scriptural matters form an endless catalogue. It was “ Daniel in the lion's den ” who said “ It is not good lor man to be alone,” and *' why the Israelites made a golden calf ” was “ because they hadeu't enough silver to make a cow.' Another instance of these logical conclusions, was when a pupil was asked, " What did the Israelites do when they c ime out of the Red tea ? ” The answer was, •• They dried themselves.” But a prime mixture was given when, in answer to the question, " Who was Moses?” an intelligent boy wrote—" He lived in a hark made of bullrnsbes and he kept a golden calf, and worshipped braizen snakes, and he Let nuthin but qwale, and manner for forty years. He was kort by the air while riding under a bow of a tree, and was killed by his eon Abslo u as he was banging from the bow. His end was pice.” Another schoolboy Solomon was probably attempting a revised version, regarding the " Good Samaritan,'' thus “ A certain man went down from jetalam to jerriker, and he fell among thieves, and the thorns sprang np and choked him—whereupon be gave tnppins to the host, and praid take care of him, and put him bon bis hone bass. And so he past by on the other side.” In other subjects, also, such absurd answers—which are drawn from the actual experience of examiners—might be multiplied indefinitely. " Magna Charts was a great man, and he was called Magna Cbarta because he use to go about preaching." “ A volcano is a large mountain with a bole at the top and a fireplace at the bottom, and sometimes tbe fire comes out at the top and destrqys the cties at the bottom, if there are any.” One boy discovered that there are three kinds of " g s ” —the hard " g.” the soft “ g,” and the “ refugee.” “ What is the feminine of friar ? ” was asked in a class. First bright boy—“ Hasn’t any.” Next. Second bright boy—“ Nun.” •• That’s right.” First boy, indignantly—" That's just what I said I ”