IMAGINARY DESPATCH.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume III, Issue 134, 12 August 1869, Page 4

IMAGINARY DESPATCH.

(From the “ Wanganui Herald.”)

Despatch from His Excellency SirsG B ,to His Grace the Duke oe .

My Lord Duke, —I have the honour to ackowledge receipt of your despatches numbered 0 and 00 of different dates respectively. I am happy to state that I have at last worked out to completion the connection of the Maoris with the Highlanders. I could state to your Grace the satisfaction which has accrued to my own mind from this ethnological fact. But as your Grace has privately communicated to me that you cannot follow my deductions, which are wearisome to you, I will not trespass on your good nature by explaining the subject at the length it deserves. I would only draw your attention to a fact which I nave noticed through a field-glass, namely, that the Maoris have in many instances adopted the barbarous attire known as kilts, by suspending blankets, &c., from their loins; besides showing other characteristics in common with the inhabitants of the Highlands which are every day making the connection more apparent to my own mind. Such being the case I think it would bo well if you sent the Duke of Argyll and Mr. Carlyle to talk to them and reprove them touching their bad behaviour; I assure you I have scarcely had a day’s uninterupted peace for composition since I entered the Colony in consequence of their feuds and distressing proclivity for killing certain persons. lam happy to say, however, that literary composition is not neglected in Government House; Lady is preparing for the press a volume of sonnets on “ the Isles of Greece,” besides certain fugitive pieces that have before been submitted to the public, but which, by reason of not purporting to emanate from the high quarter they did, entailed a decided draw upon my too scanty income.

I am induced to close this despatch by the light failing me. Indeed the single candle has been dancing somewhat strangely in the draughts that circulate so freely through my present residence; although lam bound to say that since the new Government has gained office I have been less bullied by my responsible advisers, and the crusls and candle-ends have been less parsimouously looked after. Indeed I have experienced great mental and bodily relief from the change. I have the honour to be, &c.