RANDOM READINGS.

Waipa Post, Volume VII, Issue 339, 11 August 1914, Page 7

RANDOM READINGS.

JOHN BRIGHT'S ORATORY.

Jn the opinion of those most competent to judge, as well as in that of the public, John Bright was the best Parliamentary speaker of his day. He had all the physical attributes of a great orator, including a splendid voice. His diction, drawn largely from the English Bible and Milton, was further enriched by a knowledge of all the great English poets,- and his most recent biographer, Mr. George Macaulay Trevelyan, claims for him the additional distinction of an intuition for the right word that was almost unerring. • In the House of Commons, at the crisis of the Crimean War, Bright daringly said — "The angel of death has been abroad throughout the land; you may almost hear the beating of his wings." He carried it off triumphantly, but Cobden afterwards said to him —

"If you had said 'flapping' the House would have laughed."

NINEPENCE AN HOUR.

The bazaar was in full swing, and going grandly. Everybody was swindling everybody else, and the rain had held off all the morning. "They be won'erful things, these bayzaars," observed an old farmer, who had just paid five shillings for an ugly flower-vase, and regretted it. "The money do put on wings, surely!" His wife nodded her head a great many times in agreement. "I could 'a' bought that vase at Jones's Stores, Jim," she said, "for elevenpence ha'penny.' Then they came upon a stall over which a sign ran, "Luncheons, 1 to 3 p.m., Is. 6d."

"Ah, come, lass;, this be more in our line!" exclaimed the old man, brightening up considerably. "Two hours' steady eating bean't so bad for eighteenpence!"

DESCRIBING THE TELEGRAPH,

In remote countries there are still people who have never heard of the telegraph or who are unable to understand it. A telegraph had been installed in Bosnia. "What is the meaning of this asked the astonished inhabitants of a village through which the line happened to pass. "It is a telograph," said the headman of the village, who had been in consultation with the officials. "One can send a message along this wire, straight from here to Stamboul." The villagers were incredulous. "That is impossible! How can a message run along a wire?" The headman thought a while; then he hit upon the proper explanation. "Imagine," he said, "a dog that is terribly long, and whose tail is stretched like the wire on these poles; imagine that his tail is so long that he reaches from here to Stamboul. Now, suppose we pinched his tail here, wouldn't he howl in Stamboul"