FLOTSAM AND JETSAM

Waipawa Mail, Volume LXVII, Issue 69, 24 February 1939, Page 3

FLOTSAM AND JETSAM

PICKINGS BY THE WAYSIDE. (By “Touchstone”). Oysters for roisterers. When? Defaulter’s trainer declares that jj ( , i s not afraid of the “mighty Ajax.” Tommy Farr said the same thing before he faced Joe Louis. Labor, declares a high politician, j s a „ # just the wall. But where’s the firing squad? jt is understood that the food short. in Germany is so acute that jj . . ijo longer any sale for O.S. ~'hiugs in the soft goods shops. tc " :: We ought to be grateful. So far - ,1 license is required to “buy” free air at the petrol stations. Editor L. F. AVade, of Jayton, Texas, in i-ts il pays to advertise in his Jayton “Chronicle.” He backs p up with this story: Local firms sponsored a full-page advertisement: “Wanted—a good, soaking general rain that will cover Kent County.” When ;iie paper hit the street the rain staifd. An inch and a-half fell altogether. For -- years a store in AYalla, Texas, hr, sold merchandise at exact! 1 * r price—and has prospered (!,-, entrance arc the words: “God's H" Store.” A placard inform 1 s-tomer concerning the creed of -lore: “All goods are ...Id in run at cost, nothing added as pr o: (- t lie stoic. The store is lu.pt |,v In will offerings. Anything Vl „i add to our purchase is received wilh than ” Near the door is a box in w’ ich one may drop his offerino,. .Many add as much as 20 per cent, and still come out ahead on thpjr !,u mg. Others give nothing; vet the proprietor is making a good living (W, ' : this one out of a “Read-ers’lk*-’l, t" several years old). Fan r Goodelmp, a bluff, cheery old fello v, was on his first visit to London. “Aye, but this ’ere Lunnon he a big* place,” he muttered to himself as he stood outside Buckingham Palace. Suddenly his attention was attracted by a couple of sentries. He stood for a moment with a deepening frown on his good-natured face, watching the smart, alert figures ns they in,notedly walked up to eaeli other and then turned about without exchanging a word. At last, unable to control himself any longer, he strode up to the sentries as they came together, and laying a hand on each man’s shoulder, said in his kindly way: “Come, lads, can’t ye shake hands an’ make it up?” Modern education was the topic of conversation in the suburban draw-ing-room. Mrs Miggs was saying that it was of little use, while her hostess. Airs Biggs, held that it was a good tiling. “Now, here’s little George,” said the latter. “ He’s a bright little boy, and though only eight he’ll answer anv que-tion you like to ask him. “Well. George dear,” said Mrs Atiggs, “how many are four and seven ?’’ “Twelve.” came the prompt reply. “ There you are,” exclaimed the proud mother, “missed it only by two. Horace Smith, satirist and wit, deline- a lpliment as a thing paid by people who pay nothing else: the counterfeit coin of those who substitute the form, fashion, and politeness for its substance and its feeling. Throwing compliments, like dice, is a game of hazard, at which the incautious player may get nothing but a sharp rr on the knuckles. He who -ports compliments, unless he knows how to fake a good aim, may miss his mark, and be wounded by the recoil of his own gun. At a dinner party in Paris, an ugly and dv.lt German baron, finding himself -eated between the celebrated Aladan de Stael and Aladame Recamier. the pile of the day, whispered to the , ner:—“Am 1 not fortunate to be thus placed between beauty and talent?” “Not so very fortunate. ' ’ . -plied the offended authoress, “since you possess neither one nor the other!” Here’s to-day’s morsel of food for thought: In America there are two wellknown hr : is of lipstick. One i- called The Ladv. The !hr * =- called The Hussy. Draw v nr own conclusion from the fact that The Hussy outsells The Lady by five to one! Time wa u in the early Victorian days, when well-filled stocking seldom met the too-eager eye of man —in ; ui.lic the “lady” was supposed to possess the necessary “pedal adornments" to clothe in silk. Now silk eic.l neat, and trim stenogs and typistes storm the gates, seats (and tea-rooms) of Test cricket in thousands. No longer is leg “taboo” or not mentioned in polite society. Cricket vernacular, which makes reference to “tine leg,” “short leg,” “square leg,” and the intriguing “lbw,” is as well [mown to these bright and welcome additions to the ranks of “fans” as are the various shades and prices of the fabric en-ca-ing the him ankles and knees that look the whole world in the face and “shame not any man.” Consequently Test attendance figures have broken all records. Cynics might claim that many attend to see more than cricket, but true cricket “fans” would scorn the soft impeachment. They are there to watch the game, not the pictures. Thus, to quote: *033,513 persons were present at the five Te.-t matches between England and Australia in 1930-37. The receipts were £90,909. The third Test broke all records; 350,534 persons were present. Gate receipts were £jOJ24.” Yet there is menace to

man in silk stockings. Even the dauntless Don Bradman, upon becoming the “hero” of a Test match, hid away from them, and was quietly smuggled from the ground, some hours later, to the security of wife and home, sweet home. Can it be true that a pair of silk stockings at home is worth a “score,” or more, at a Test match?