FLOTSAM AND JETSAM

Waipawa Mail, Volume LXVI, Issue 33, 1 December 1937, Page 3

FLOTSAM AND JETSAM

PICKINGS BY THE WAYSIDE. (By “Touchstone”). There was an absence of Japanese eempetition at the first New Zealand tool sale. Looks as though it’s not ping to be a long war in China. Some fellows live by their wits, nit a solicitor lives on his writs. In Melbourne a youth was arrested jjr riding a bicycle while he was punk. There are a lot of gifted topic in Melbourne. pairlawn, New Jersey (U.S.A.) has jren its 1000 owners of cats one ionth to put- bells round the necks j their pets and pay a four shillings (ease fee. A goat shown at the British Dairy jimcrs’ Association annual show I London holds the world record for induction. During the past year it tided 54801 b. of milk. This is an rerage of one and a-half gallons a f—more than many cows give. Because he could not get out of a jrd-dass compartment into a firstbs for which he had bought a tict, Derek' Jackson pulled the eomanic. it ion cord of an English train, [was lined £5 with £5 5s costs by London Magistrate. Ha.' you ever tried to calculate at Shakespeare lost by being born (years too soon? It’s fairly easy, i Elizabethan dramatist was lucky receive £lO for one play. If jke-peare were alive now, Amerii royalties alone on his plays would te totalled £(18,000 since 1934—actin' to a New York estimate. This assuming, of course, that Shakerare is sufficiently eminent to earn > same percentage as Bernard aw. On the basis of prices paid rtw" recent successful American its, Shakespeare's share in the film its of “A Midsummer Night’s mm” and “Romeo and Juliet” jld have netted him about £40,000. is from stage and screen to-day ike-peare would have received over 0,00't in three and a-half years, lish and Continental productions ild probably have doubled this, tail) dly Mr William Shakeire's parents were a little too non . ;is true that a Western Austrai specialist made considerable immiicnt in King George Vl.’s (th. The earliest famed stutAloses, who said of himself: 1 Lord, I am not eloqijent, but I slow of speech and of a slow ate. Demosthenes, the Greek

ir, I - said to have cured himself uttering bv rolling pebbles in his :h and roaring at the sea. Cicero, Son,an orator, also overcame this iency. Charles I. of England 1 himself, only to fall under the before he could make use of his fluency. [tract from “The Times,” Septs'2lst, 1837: sterday a young man, “bearded the I'jird, ’ ’ who said he was a ratei' employed on the London Birmingham Railroad, applied to Sawlinson (at the Marylebone i) for an assault warrant. . . . iplicant.—l goes to my work as 1 this ere morning, ven one of shopmates says to me, “I say. you ain’t shaved your hupper ately.” “Don’t mean it,” says 'Vy?” says he. “Cos,” I re“l intends rearing mustaehios lot like a gentleman.” “Veil, says he, “as you intends to oe a fashionable gentleman, syou’ll have no objection to for:alt a gallon of ale, as it’s a rule for every vorkman vots sports ichios to have them vetted a .” Veil, has I refused . . . they ed me about, and stole my dinner f ths pot, and treated me shame»l vouts your advice respecting mstaehios. :Rawlinson. —My advice is to go barber and have them shaved off TO loss of time. . . . AVhat busies a carpenter with a quantity TO hair hanging from his lip? Meant.—The reason vy I vears [ cos it’s fashionable, and makes pok a man of some courage. ' Rawlinson.—Fashionable, int I wish, with all my heart, the fashion was discontinued. . .. Disgusting to see persons strutItroimh the streets with mustaI and sometimes a forest of hair [the face and chin, which is digfby the name of whiskers. As fon’t take my advice, I can’t [you. bis the greatest hard-luck story lew—and a tragic one it is. It bs the English Derby of 1913, I Cragnour won only to be disbd. An Irishman made the long |v from Dublin to back Aboveur re him win the classic because p seen, in a dream, that horse ft. He arrived in London with I* a ?tocking the day before the I was run. He was not devoid ieiuoii sense, and realised that |ld hardly walk on to the course I I mat ter of three hundred golden P?n.s in his pocket, so he made Ps overnight. “Paddy” got the Pfls to every penny of his ■ and. with the certainty that he Ibe tile owner of a fortune of P after the race, went down to Pin the highest of spirits. Ibis t' clings were, when watehPtyeor fmd Cragnour coming up P|i to rue post locked together, Pan -urmise. But when the i'ut up that Cragnour, the Pt, had won by .a head, MurPBediately left the course and Pi unconscious of the drama Pas being enacted in the stewfrom, straight to the station and P the train for London. Had Patched peasant bought a paper Piflhave seen that his dream had, Pji come true. Instead he walkVght to his lodgings, borrowed ’ ■Wnier gun. and shot himself, phft no traceable relatives his remained unclaimed, and he ■•led in a pauper's grave in a BjJ” city. Surely, fortune H%ed a dirtier trick than she H •’> poor Dubliner,