SENSE AND NONSENSE

Waipawa Mail, Volume L, Issue 43, 28 December 1928, Page 1 (Supplement)

SENSE AND NONSENSE

RANDOM REFLECTIONS

By EOBEET MAGILL

When a man buys a hat lie goes reluctantly into the shop, and gazes at heaps of unsympathetic hats until he wishes he had been born without a head. Finally he selects thc hat he hates least, pays for it, and takes it home in a paper bag, so that nobody can see it. A woman, on the other hand, would rather be seated in the salon, surrounded by hats, than on a gilded throne surrounded by her subjects. One aftoi another she tries them all on, but she. loves them all equally, and she cannot decide. Eventually the astute saleswoman persuades her to narrow her choice down to two, and suggests that she will gladly send these up next day on approval. At one time milliners were clui'y of sending out u hat on approval, because the recipient usually wore it at the function for which it was intended, and having no further use for it sent it back anil said it was no good. But now they insist on sending out two of everything. In the privacy of her bedroom thw woman tries on the green hat. It is a lovely hat, but the brown one goes better with her pink frock, whereas the green one is just tlje thing for her blue costume. The green hat i.s smart, but the brown one is in such good taste. At eventide, when they call the cattle home, her husband lets go his strap in the tube and comes home, too. She asks him which lie likes best. His mind is dwelling on steak and kidney pie, but he says: “Oh, that green thing, 1 think.” Whereupon she tells him that it’s a common-looking hat, and makes her look sick. So lie says: “Oh, all right. Have the ginger-bread one, then,” and she retorts that it’s dowdy and makes her look old, and he doesn’t care what she looks like, the brute. Now thc millinery people promised to send for thc rejected hat next day, but they don’t. They let her worry a little longer, and she goes mad with worry. That evening, distracted, she appeals to him again. He says, “Oh, my gosh. Arc* you still fiddling about with those confounded hats?” But she says, “ Please, dear, I wish you’d tell mo which one you like best. You know J dress only to please you.” At which he says, “For heaven » sake have both, anil let’s go down to supper. ’ ’ Consequently she does have both, although after she has told the milliners she still feels dimly that the green hat doesn’t suit her, and that the brown one is unfashionable, but they a e both perfect dears. The milliners, of course, knew this all the time. That’s why they sent tw hats. Smell Sweet Sorrow Somehow I feel that Aunt Elizabeth ought not to go abroad again. It’s too hard to say good-bye. Not that I mind parting with her, for I’d swap her any day for a couple of nice female cousins of about twenty-five,, or anything else useful. But there is always such a lot of good-bye. She left our house in a taxi, after telling us to bc sure and write, and to be sure and give Ko-ko, her dog, his scraped meat daily, and to be sure and see that Poo-poo, her cat, didn’t catch any rude mice he hadn’t been introduced to, also to look in at her flat one* a week and collect letters and sec no burglars had got in. After half an hour of this we all kissed and wept, the taxi ticked up two shillings, and she left. Half an hour later she came back. The taxi had naturally missed the train. We were glad to see her again safe and sound, of course, but after having nerved ourselves to the wrench of parting with her, she was something of an anti-climax. Anyhow, as the boat didn’t leave till next day, I said I’d drive her down in the morning by car. We’d definitely disposed of every subject on which we had to talk before she went in the fist place, but on tho way down she explained to us again about the dog, the cat, and the letters, and all thc rest of it. Her luggage was already on board, so we parked the car, kissed Auntie, wept, assured her about the cat and dig, and bade her a long, touching and final farewell by the gangway. Then somebody said the ship wasn’t sailing for an hour, and if we liked we could go on board and see her cabin. Personally 1 didn’t want to. I’a said good-bye twice to Auntie, and I wanted to get rid of her and feel unhappy because she was gone, but we went. While we were in her cabin we heard a long hoot, so we all said another long, 1. ally final, hurried farewell. but still complete with tears, kisses, cat, and dog. When we got on deck, however, we found it wasn’t our ship that had hooted, so there we stood wondering what, to do next. Eventually somebody ordered us on shore. We kissed, talked, about < ats and dogs, and wept, and hurried down the gangway. And that ship moved twenty feet, and staved there another hour, because ne of the tugs had gone off the boil, or something. Meanwhile Auntie and oursel waved handkerchiefs and blew kisses, and wept, and said goodbye. and spasmodically tnlked about cats and dogs. The ship sailed just, in time or wo should all have jumped in the dock.