BREAKING IT OFF.

Waipawa Mail, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 8513, 5 August 1921, Page 7 (Supplement)

BREAKING IT OFF.

(By Alfred Edye.) What is the best way for a man to break off a love affair of which he is weary or which he realises is a mistake?

I was asked the question recently, and it is a bit of a poser. In the majority of cases I believe it is quite unnecessary for a man to say a single word. Where love is concerned women are amazingly intuitive.

However careful a man may be to conceal his change of feelings, the woman knows.

She may not let him know that she knows. It may not suit her purpose to do so.

But the man who imagines that he is successfully hiding his emotions is generally wrong. She can detect all sorts of subtle nuances of which he is unaware.

Many engagements are broken by girls because they see the man has tired. They are determined to get the blow in first and save their pride. Although secretly relieved, the man protests—for no one lilies being “turned down”—and inveighs against the fickleness of women. In any case, of course, and however the matter is brought about, so far as friends and acquaintances are concerned, it should always appear to be the woman who has broken off the engagement. And the man who knows his way about can generally arrange this.

But there are limpet woman who cling close long after they know their affianced have ceased to care. They require drastic treatment. A man has sometimes to be cruel to be kind.

The long-drawn-out love affair which drags on hopelessly through endless days is a tragedy for both parties.

Moral courage is required, and most men, especially the physically courageous, are deficient in this ill their relation to women.

It may seem brutal, however it is put, for a mail to confess to a woman that he has ceased to love her, especially if he knows her feelings are unchanged. But it is a great deal less brutal than, constant pretence with its tissue of lies and fatal falseness.

The straight course is nearly always the best. The short, sharp blow hurts less than the daily torture and is far more merciful and manly.

All is fair in love and war” is an adage which is responsible for much deception. There are occasions when men must lie to and about women—however much they dislike it. A man is considered a cur who would not lie to save a woman’s honour m the Divorce Court, and in love there are often innumerable small deceits to which a man is compelled by the woman he has loved. It may be to save her pain, to avoid a quarrel, prevent a “scene,” or for the sake of peace.

But men are mostly uneasy and unprofitable liars and few can successfully hoodwink a woman. When it comes to the really big thing and the man is quite sure he no longer cares, the best way is to deal with it like a bad tooth. Have it out. With an anaesthetic if possible. But anyway have it out.