WEDLOCK AFTER THE WAR

Waipawa Mail, Volume XXXVI, Issue 7749, 15 July 1916, Page 4 (Supplement)

WEDLOCK AFTER THE WAR

REASSURING WORDS FOB THE FAIB SEX. It is said that one reason for the present epidemic of weddings is the tear that, after the war, husbands will be far to seek, and the consequent anxiety of a large number of girls not to miss tin* exceptional, and possibly their lost, opportunity of wearing a wedding-ring. As one young girl, with more than an average share of attractions, said to the writer, “After the war there will be no one to marry except boys and old men; and unless I find a husband soon I shall almost certainly d’.o an old maid, which as you admit is not a very pleasant prospect.” Undoubtedly there is some truth .n this statement. Young women, whoso natural desire is to marry, are fearful of tlu future. They argue that a very large number of the man who are going to light our battles, and those in many <ases the bravest and the best, will never return; arid that thus, not only will thflir chance of marriage bo seriously reduced, but they will be obliged, if tliey wed at all, to give their hand either to tho least desirable of young men or to men “old enough to lx* their fathers.” A DEARTH OF MARRIAGEABLE MEN? This foreboding is perhaps not unnatural; but is it justifiab'e? It is unhappily quite certain that many who would have made excellent husbands will not survive the war, and thus the supply of marriageable men will bo reduced. How large this number will be it is. of course, impossible to say. Let us, however, for the sake of argument, take an outside figure. Let us assume that by the time peace comes half-a-iuillion of our soldiers nro killed or totaMy disabled. This is an enormous number—probably much larger Ilian the actual figure; but, after all. it only represents roughly one out of every sixteen of our manhood between the ages of 19 and -10. Thus, there will still be left fifteen potential husbands for every sixteen before the war; and a woman’s chance of wedlock will only lie reduced a little over six per cent. —and this only between the og£S given. It must also be remcmliered that at the lower ages there were before tho war more marriageable men than women. Thus between the ages of 29 and 24 there were 1,000 unappropriated men to 978 women; and (exta.idilig the range), between 20 and 90, there was still more than one possible husband for every marriageable woman within the same limits of age. Thus a reduction of n woman’s matrimonial chances by a shade over 6 per cent, s not a very serious matter. Nor is it correct to say that all the best men, and thus the most desirable husbands, will be no longer available, in war death takes its toll more or lessindiscriminately. The brave soldier takes the greater risks, no doubt; but the “sW*l«ir” has no iimmwiity, and the bullet that spares a gallant man may strike him down. The strong and the weak together find thejr places in the casualty lists; the strong as well as the weak will be among the survivors; and tlv* average quality of the manhood that comes through, will probably be no lower than before the war. Thus wo see there is good reason to expect that when peace comes woman’s ciianc,;* of marriage will not Ik* at aU seriously diminished, qnd that there wi'l still remain a very large army of acceptable husbands apart from the middle-aged. THE DECLINING BIRTH-RATE. Another thing is quite clear—that after the war it will be a national necessity for men to marry in much larger numbers than in previous years. For many years past the decline in tlu* marriage-rat© iu the l nited Kingdom lias been disquieting. Thus for .every 17 men who took themselves wives in 1901, there were only 14.9 in 11,9, tho year before the war began; and in tlu*' same period tlio birth-rate had fallen from 28 in every thousand of the population to 23.9. If we go still further back, we find that the average annual birth-rate had dropped from 3d.5 to 24, between the years IH7I and 1914. So serious has been the decline that, in tho last quarter of a century, Britain’s birth-rate shows a greater decrease than that ol any other nation in Europe, with the exception of Germany. This is a grave matter, a serious menace to our future as a nation; and it will be the duty of our manhood to sec that this monac.' is as far as possible removed after the war, in the only way possible, by increasing the marriage-rate, thus adding a comfortable number to the army of marrying Having thus, as I hope, reassured my lady-renders as to the matrimonul prospects of tlu* future, let us to see what tlv effect of the war will lo on married life itself. In the first place it is to be feared that many ol the women who have hurried into matrimony during tho wav, from emotional reasons or from fear of losing their opportunity, will be sorry they bad *i.»t waited and made a saner and more careful choice of a life-partner. Many of thoM' war-marriages, entered into from sudden impulse, and alter a lew clays’ acquaintance, seemed doomed to disillusion if not to disaster; and one can only hope that the proportion will lx* Jess than one fears. l-or those who have wisely been content to wait lor peace and a careful, unemotional choice ol husbands, the prospect seems to be much briglitc. Manv of these “wise virgins” will no doubt find tliems,-Ives in a much better and more ind. : pendent position to consider the problem of marriage, than n tho days before tho war. They will, a very large number of them, no longer be obliged to choose between wedlock and a life of struggle or even poverty; for they will have learnt the secret of supporting themselves and thus making themselves independent ot nu'n for their support; and the means of earning their own living wfll, in the majority of cases, »•* theim in the future. Thee can afford to “hide their time.” If the right man comes along, thev can give him their hands, and their heart with it; if not- they can get on quite well without him, and certainly much better than il wedded i.o an uncongenial husband. , If they marry, they can scarcely fail to I>© better and more useful, and thus happier, wives I,ham would have been possible’before the war; for they have learnt many of the lessons which are invaluable in wedded life. They have, in very many cases, acquired habits of industry and self-discipline and sacrifice; they have learned the value et money (for it is only by earning money by hard work that one knows its vidue and how to make the best use of it); tliey have learned to take serious practical views of life, and tluv have developed a strength of will an 1 character which will he of infinite r.so in the home life. Moreover, if nt any time the bread-winner should fail them th.ey will he able, in a .large measure, to take his place and keep the home together.

THE PERILS OF PEACE. And never will these qualities le more needed than in the near future. There are, no doubt, before most of us, after tine last shot has been fired, years of poverty and struggle when we shall require all that the war has taught us of work and thrift and self-denial, before times of ease and plenty come to us again; and the success with which we shall emerge from these dark years will depend very largely on what the war has taught our women, and the use they make of its lessons. Nor in the forecast of the future must we overlook tlie part the man of middleage may play in jt. Beyond n doubt many a man who has settled down tj a life of so-called ‘‘single blessedness” will feel the call of duty, throw off their selfishness, and take to himself a wife; and in the majority of cases the woman ho chooses will need no sympathy. Tlvere are many worse tilings possible to a young woman than to marry a man who has outlived the follies and instability of youth, who has shed youth’s illusions and who has the means and the will to provide a comfortable home and an assured future for nis wife. Such a marriage may lack romance; but it may well lie happy and enviable. As Dorothy Dix truly says, “no convention in the world is more absurd than counting a person’s age by years —we see many happy marriages full ot congeniality and comradeship where thorn is great disparity in age between husband and wife; and many unhappy and uncongenial matches where almost tho only tiling that the couple seem to have in common is the fact that they have lived about the same length of time.”—Sheffield Weekly Telegraph.