“TAXATAXY.”

Waipawa Mail, Volume XXXVI, Issue 7749, 15 July 1916, Page 4

“TAXATAXY.”

, NEW DISEASE THAT ATTACKS THE TAXPAYER. > “Nearly everything taxed,” was . the legend on the newspaper placard, writes a contributor to an English paper, and he continues thus: — The suggestion was startling—horribly reminiscent of days when we were told that nearly everything was made in Germany—days from which, fortunately, we have escaped. . Surely here was an interesting example of that exaggeration of which • the man who professes to scorn at, yet rends the newspapers, informs us us they nowadays are guilty. I slept over it, but could not rid myself of the weird notion that, to study true economy, I must not dream, lest the tax-collector should wait in my dressing-room to demand flip dream tax. I suffered the pangs of . taxataxy. Awaking in response to the call of the sun, I looked forth on the taxed “property” which affords me shelter, , and, dressing hastily, sought to find the (ruth or otherwise of the statement that so disturbed me. MORNING. My taxed coffee and taxed chicory was sweetened with taxed sugar, and , as I drank it an up-to-date vendor delivered the milk from a taxed petroldriven van. Presumably, indirectly, I paid my share of that tax for that petrol. 1 rushed out into the street for which I pay rates to the station, where I bought a taxed railway ticket and entered a train crowded with munition workers off to earn excess war taxes for their employers and, incidentally, insurance taxes for their ( own benefit. Passing unoccupied patches subject to undeveloped land tax, the forests of chimneys that came into view Wpr« . eloquent of unearned increment taxes that pour into the National Ex- ■ chequer! Having completed the taxed train journey I proceeded over a taxed bridge to earn the wherewithal to pay my own income tax, narrowly escaping being knocked over by a taxed motor car and falling over the taxed office dog. NOON. At lunch time I entered a, taxed house, and finding that I could pay two taxes by consuming one drink had a taxed whisky and a taxed soda, highly satisfied that I was “one up” on those who drank taxed beer, taxed cider, taxed sherry or taxed stout. Having for a third time paid double fax on my taxed tea and taxed sugar, I was about to return home when I reflected that my favorite football team was to play an evening match. A faxed ticket gave me admission, and having tasted the pleasure of an hour’s taxed amusement my cupidity was faxed for more. Despite the fact that' I was able to resist the temptation of the taxed cinema and the taxed theatre, I fell a victim to the taxed music-hall, saw the artists whose salaries are taxed, and incidentally helped to pay their |

taxes, and waß then so near the time for my taxed train that I hired a taxed taxi that took me between avenues of what once were electric lights for which I pay rates, and gave me a moment to remember that I have to contribute to tile cost of blackening their topß. NIGHT. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to send a taxed telegram, and the office was closed, o taxed letter would be too late, and I had therefore to take >ot luck for supper. There was, lowever, some consolation in a glass of taxed beer, and when I had lighted my taxed cigar with a taxed match the day’s quest for taxes appeared to be over. Not so! Burglars must be kept away, and my taxed shooter had to ho got in order before a final cup of taxed cocoa was applied as a nightcap. Further, after such attacks as that from which I hod suffered it was a were matter of precaution to take a taxed patent soothing syrup, washed down with a trifle of the contents of a taxed syphon, and it was only when, worn out by the excitement of the search, I again sought sleep, that I discovered a concert that was not taxed. The performers occupied a neighboring roof, and if only I had a blunderbuss instead of a six-shooter I would have filled them with tacks.