MORCEAUX

Waipawa Mail, Volume VIII, Issue 781, 26 May 1885, Page 3

MORCEAUX

A man is called a confirmed liar when nothing that lie says is confirmed. “Why do they always call young lawyers limbs of the law, pa?” “Oh, I suppose it’s because tlieye’re always broke.” “Some men are always in. luck,” observed a tramp upon reading that a man was ** drowned in a vat of whisky.” A prairie farmer reports that a late wind storm lifted about everything from his lands except t he mortgage. A little girl suffering with the mumps declared she “ felt ns t hough a headache bail slipped down into her nick.’’ “Ah, Miss de Smith, are you going to have a goose at dinner to-day ?” “ Yes, I hope so ; you’ll come, won’t you ?*’ blit, somehow- neither of them felt very comfortable after that. Head of tlm establishment : “ David, you are a fool 1” David : “ Well, sir. 1 can’t help tale you, and 1 have done the best I could, j “ Why do you refuse to live with your wife*?” inquired Judge Dully of Denis Mideally. *• Bekase I’m in (thread uv me loife wid her.” “How is your life endangered ?” “ She stheals on me with a eoueayled weapon. She has it. on her person now.” ** It’s a lie, Judge. The truth’s not in him shouted Mrs Mulcahy. “Silence, woman,” said the judge. “ Constable, has any concealed weapon been found on this woman?” “ No, yer honour.” “What do you mean by saying that your wife carries a concealed weapon ?’’ “ What, do I mean, is it? If you was married to her ye’d know what I mean." “Can’t the court find out without getting married to her?” “You can, yer honour. Just say something to raise her timper, and she’ll unscrew that oulil conoayled wooden leg of her’s and clean out the court.”— Texas Siftings. We have some Chinese in Chicago, (says the American correspondent, for the Star.) This is the way they sing of the war at home: Flenchee manoc comce, Flinkee havee fun, Fightee Chinee soruec, Rling along big gun. Flinltce Chinamance Lunee light, away, Flinkee fight with fance, Mebbe with tea-tray. Chinamanec watebee, Cittee miglitce mud, Flenchee armcc eat.choe, llurtce piitty bad 1 Flenchee fight,ce fincc, (lun go slapee bang ! Alice Ruraec Chinee Lickee him Dong-Dang ! A notice in the Wellington Evening Press (says the Wanganui Herald confirms the rumour that Mr Edward Wakefield had joined the proprietory of that paper. Mr Wakefield made his bow to tlie Wellington people on Wednesday by contributing a couple of columns of leading matter, and a Latin mott*) — V'irtus Omnia Vincit. There is more in the Latin motto than there is in the leaders. Mr Wakefield says the motto means “ Pluck does it but tin r.; is another, translation, which runs “ There is nothing like cheek.” A correspondent writes to tlie Wanganui Herald ;—“ While we send Home frozen meat and butter, eggs seem to be neglected. It seems to me that the market for eggs would suit us exactly. Probably there arc many in Wanganui who have picked up duck eggs in winter frozen as hard as a stone; they look like hard boiled eggs, nearly ns hard as a stone, and in that state would keep for ever. Eggs are now Is 3d per dozen ur. Home, but our winter is their summer, and I think that when eggs are unsaleable here at 3d per dozen, they might hit the London market right. This is not a small affair, but one of the great importance, as the amount, sent every year to France and Belgium clearly show.” We arc inclined to think that it would pay our Wanganui friends to preserve their summer eggs for for sale in the colony in winter. It is a general experience that eggs are quite scarce enough during that season, without sending our surplus supply to England. CFor continuation of nears see last page.)