ARTEMUS WARD.

Waipawa Mail, Volume 2, Issue 134, 24 December 1879, Page 2

ARTEMUS WARD.

In repartee Charles Farrow Browne (Artemus Ward) had scarcely an equal among the journalists of his time, and his pen was held in w holesome fear by rival members of his fraternity. He had always a ready answer for any that attacked him, and he used his power of ridicule in reply to his assailants. One day he found a neat package on bis desk, which on opening, he dis covered was a jack-knife. A reporter of a morning paper —a notoriously homely man—heard of it, am a - "ote & paragraph to the effect tnaff t **owne richly merited the knife. Tnat evening Browne retorted by naming this person, and saying—“ He is the homeliest man in America. He has broken five cameras in endeavouring to get a picture of himself to Bend to the chil dren of a bitter personal enemy, maliciously intending to frighten them to death. He has been offered a good salary to stand up in a certain field as a scarecrow. Ho is compelled to get' up three times every night to rest bis face. In courting days he was totally unsuccessful until he had procured a mask. He has a gait like a saw-horse, And when he walks the side-walks, the very bricks recoil in horror.”